Best Wishes to Ai and Ferdie!

Wishing you both a lifetime of everlasting love and happiness! Congratulations!

Taal Adventure

Mom and dad were bored one morning and asked me to take them somewhere they have never been to and do something they have never done before. I wanted to bring them to Circles (a posh restaurant in Makati) for dinner but I don’t think they would find that funny (‘cause we’ll be eating instant noodles for the next few weeks after we pay the bill).

Actually my mom hinted days ago that the Taal crater was interesting (which translated to “Take us there or I’ll cook nothing but vegetables for the next 8 weeks). That morning, mom packed some food and dad donned his “go everywhere” look while I prepped my cameras and my iPod. Hey, I was pretty bored myself.

We loaded up the family car and headed out. A few blocks away from our house, mom and dad asked where I will be taking them. I told them “Taal Crater”. Mom had that “You better” look while dad had “oh crap” written all over his face.

Travel time from the house to the Taal volcano usually takes 3 hours by car. Given the speedster that I am, I was able to shave off one whole hour, reaching the Talisay, Batangas in only 2 hours. I don’t drive crazy. I drive fast but never crazy.

Upon reaching Talisay, we were hounded by these annoying people trying to lure us into their resort. I was driving around the shoreline with 2 guys following me around on a scooter. Grrr… I wanted to run them over. From Talisay we took a boat to Taal volcano and immediately our guide informed us that the real taal volcano is not what is always shown in postcards. The real volcano is the one with the lake inside it and not the mountain which is the most visible thing from Tagaytay.

I enjoyed the dinky boat ride. I had salt water in my hair changing my hairdo from the lego-man hairdo to a full afro. I should’ve brought my cap *groan*. From the Taal shore, we “had” to ride a horse all the way up to the crater.

I’ve never ridden a horse before. Back when I was a kid, horses freaked the hell out of me. I refused to ride horses when we would go to Baguio. I didn’t even ride carousels until high school but I didn’t travel all the way to a volcano just to let a four legged beast scare the crap out of me again.

I ended up with a brown horsie who was ticked off when he saw that he ended up taking a fatso all the way up the hill. I know squat about riding horses and I had to learn everything on how to control it in a span of 15 minutes while we were still on level ground because after that, it’s all uphill for me (or him). It was an exciting moment for me when I found out that the horse goes to the direction where you pull the reins and runs when you kick them gently with your heels. It was a terrifying moment when I found out that he sprints full speed when hit their behinds with a stick. Good thing I was able to find the steering wheel, gas pedal and nitrous oxide... where's the seatbelt? Going uphill felt terrible as “Cast Iron Sports Cup” was automatically added to my To Buy list. (ouch)

The crater was beautiful as I brought out my camera. Funny how I was geared up like Rambo. I have my primary camera (my DSLR) around my neck. I have my secondary camera (my Canon Ixus) as my sidearm in a pouch attached to my belt and I have my tertiary camera (my phone) with a grand total of 5 spare batteries.

Taal Volcano Island. The big thing on the right is what we always see from Tagaytay but that's NOT the volcano crater itself. The crater's on the left.

My smartass horse... and he's eating ants?

A tree in the crater.

The crater. Dad tried to explain to me the chemical components of the water in the lake and I fell asleep instantly.

The lake in the volcano.

The boat we rode to and from Taal Volcano

Going down with Mr. Horsie was worse. I didn’t know if he would slip or fall because we were going down the hill on a 45 degree angle. I was shouting “Ingat! May bato! May bato sa kaliwa!” hoping the beast knows Tagalog. There was a scary moment when he stopped by a cliff and looked down. I started shouting “Huwag!!! Huwag!!! Doon tayo dumaan! Wag diyan!” and I didn’t know that there was a small group of people behind me who started laughing and taking my picture. I also notice that the island had so many Korean visitors which divided up the tour guides into two groups: the happy ones were the ones who ended up touring the young pretty Korean women while the grouchy ones were the ones who ended up touring their parents and their brothers / boyfriends.

At the bottom of the hill, I was glad to be off the horse. We took the same boat going home, ate and went home. I was sore all over. Was it worth it? While we were on our way home mom and dad were happily smiling knowing that they had a great time and it wasn’t a boring day where they would watch American Idol reruns all day. Yea, I think it was worth it. =)

It’s still a funny thought that mom and dad got bored and their son brought them to a volcano crater.

March was for the Penguins

Not the best month so far.

- March has been the most expensive month for me so far even eclipsing my expenses last December.

- March had my single most expensive transaction for the year.

- March was my busiest month in terms of workload as I am the newly appointed lead for both the online (web) and backend (sql) team. I tried reading some stuff to upgrade my VB 6 skills to .Net and I blew my brains out. (Koya Kiko!!! help!!!)

- I had no vacations for March. There was a day when I missed work but ended up working in the afternoon at home.

- The most days in the month where I was injured and couldn't play basketball. I had an assortment of small injuries ranging from plantar fasciitis, knee pain, calf pain etc...

Good thing it's already April! Go Bosawx! :D

Random Thoughts 2

Hey Mickey you're so fine, you're so... hey, you're not Mickey

Did you see the music video for Avril's new single "Girlfriend"? What happened?!? A few years ago, Britney was the dancing and "singing" (It was either Brit singing or someone starting her car) teen icon and Avril was the Anti-britney rocker girl. Now Avril is the new Britney? and Britney looks like Mrs. Potato Head?

Probably a last minute substitute

I watched the Gerry Penalosa fight a few weeks ago and I must say the fight commentator was terrible. I'm not saying it was like that because she was a woman but because I believe commentators should know how the sport is played and the common terms used.

"At itong si Gerry ay natatamaan ng mga suntok at ayun! ayun! nakasuntok siya! Ay! Ay! Natatamaan naman siya ngayon! Ay! Ayun! Sapul! Nakabawi siya!"... and it went on for an hour like this.

Too many Booboys

One morning, I was listening to Chico and Delamar's Morning Rush when I heard an top ten entry sent by Booboy The Clown.

Booboy the clown? I only know Booboy the clown.

When I arrived at the office, I confirmed that it was indeed Allan who was laughing that I was able to make the quick connection (He sang and danced "Send in the Clowns" during the CIO Idol back in Chicago)

The Countdown to August

It will probably be the best month of the year (second only to May). =)

Not Listening to Sexy Rexy?

Someone sent an email asking what I meant by "EOP" in my other post. It stands for English Only Pilipinos. Yea, you know what I'm talking about dude!

Jinxing Rob and Amber

Last time, I mentioned that my team for the Amazing Race: All Stars is Rob and Amber and after I posted it, they were eliminated because of a freak mistake. Funny that Mirna called Amber a b*tch. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

My prediction on who will be out next: Joe and Bill.

3 out of 4

I picked out the Final Four for this year to be: Florida, UCLA, North Carolina and Ohio State. I missed only by one (North Carolina lost to Georgetown in the Elite Eight). Dang, I should've made a bet with somebody.

The Holy Cows

My precious basketball team which is on a tear right now after winning 18 straight games in the regular season! I have a non-bearing game right now as I'm alone in first place with a 19-2 record. That's for the myScheduling league though. For the CIO league, I lost the top spot and is struggling just to hold on to #2. Get well Dwyane! Don't worry, I don't blame you (too much).

I also have another team called "Scrambled Eggs" which is a low seed in the playoffs. I think i got eliminated this morning. :-/

300

I heard from my friends it's really good. I read Gwenny's and Enzo's reviews (hey they won't blog about it if it ain't any good right?). Last week, I dragged Jaye to watch it. She asked if it was a violent and bloody movie and I think I said, "just a little". Yup, like I'm a "little" chubby. :P Sorry honey, next time we'll watch something less bloody. :P

You probably read so many reviews and comments about it already so I'll say that it's really good and stop right there. Don't wanna bore you all :P

That night, I reached under the boxes in my room to get my weights (I want an 8 pack too!) but found nothing but dust bunnies (eeewww). Where'd go? My bro who watched the movie earlier took it. grrrrr...

Fight or Flight

The fight-or-flight response, also called the acute stress response, was first described by Walter Cannon in 1927. His theory states that animals react to threats with a general discharge of the sympathetic nervous system, priming the animal for fighting or fleeing.

We all have our own fears, problems and concerns probably related to work, family, money, love, friends or all of the above. It can be trivial or crucial, simple or complicated, generic or specific. I believe everyone runs away from something. We may not admit it but we do. Running away from an overwhelmingly difficult challenge, from tremendous pressure or from the inevitable.

I have been running away for a long time now, strong enough just to keep my head above water. One day, I stopped and felt how tiring it was to live like this. I grew. I changed. I overhauled my life and decided no more running. I started to fight back.

No more running.

I realized that it's a new era in my life since a few months ago. I've already turned my life around half way for the better and I've never been this strong and happy. Time to take it all the way.

All the way around.

Thanks Jaye. :)

Thanks Jaye for the love you're sharing with me, for your patience and understanding and for letting Arnold be Arnold.

Mass Transit Day 3

One thing I know about myself - I adapt fast.

On the third day I was already able to develop a routine as I was at the LRT station early and for the second straight day I was able to avoid the MRT rush by arriving just in time for the empty train which I just found out arrives at 7:00am. I was at the office in record time and I didn't look harrassed despite being crunched by the MRT doors. (ouch!)

My trip home was more interesting. After work, I rushed out of the office and into the MRT station where people were boxing out the yellow markers where the train doors would align. Let's see, on day 1, I was able to board on the 3rd train while on day 2 I was able to board the 8th train. On this day, I was able to board the first train that arrived despite all the people blocking off the train entrance. The doors opened and a guy was getting off. While he was pushing people out of the way while in the train, he blocked off the people who were getting in with me alone on the other side. Once he stepped off, this thin man pushed me off so he can get into the train.

Simple physics. A thin man pushing off a fat man. What will happen?

The guy pushed off me, was knocked back and hit the crowd behind him blocking them all off. I was still standing still. I boarded the train and didn't have to push anyone. From the MRT I ran to the LRT station while talking to Jaye (who told me NOT to use my phone in Cubao) and quickly boarded the next available train. At my stop, I positioned myself right in front of the door so that I can get a headstart and avoid the rush by doing a jackrabbit sprint. I was out and greeted by a huge crowd that took 3 of the 4 highway lanes. What was this, another rally? There were no waiting jeeps or any other public utility vehicle. A jeep would come by, drop off a passenger and people would do "sabit" (hanging from the jeepney's entrance which is now prohibited by law).

Here's another interesting thing last night. People were constantly fanning and moving like one of those party shows on MTV. Suddenly, something hit my eye and it itched terribly. What was going on?!? A 10 wheeler truck with huge headlights passed and lit the entire area and I saw lots (and I do mean LOTS) of fluttering things in the air. Argh! Insects! Not sure what they were (I'm no Gil Grissom) but they were huge and they were EVERYWHERE. I now remembered that there was a creek just beside the highway and it was probably hatching season or something. Now comes the funny part, jeepneys would constantly stop at this one area where incidentally there was a high concentration of those flying things. I found out about this when an empty jeep parked there, I ran to it and was swarmed by these insects making me run back. Another empty jeep passed by but I couldn't board it because I was laughing at this sequence.

Around 20 people would be standing in the lightly insect infested area. A jeep would stop at the highly infested area dropping off one or two passengers. Twenty people would run to the jeep while waving their arms wildly. One would be able to board while 19 would run back to the lightly infested area still flinging their arms around while shouting and shrieking (and coughing).

That was F-U-N-N-Y!

After a few more minutes a jeep stopped and dropped off a passenger in front of me. I grabbed the side bars and did my spiderman swing (like the one I did yesterday) only this time, someone was also boarding the same jeepney. I (inadvertently) gave him a flying kick sending him down to the asphalt before landing on the jeep's entrance. The jeep sped off before he could even say anything.

The song playing from the jeepney's sound system? The theme from Mission Impossible "Take a Look Around" by Limp Bizkit.

Mass Transit Day 2

One day older, one day smarter.

I woke up doing the same routine and left the house 10 minutes earlier (as if that will make a difference). I was walking to the main road near our house to wait for a trike and passed by my friend Bing's house who was prepping her car on her way to work. A quick "Hi-Hello-Musta-Ok lang kaw?- ok lang din" conversation and off I went. Five minutes later at the main road Bing drove by, pulled over and offered to drive me to the LRT station. Cool! Another friend who I haven't talked to for a long time.

The LRT was kinda packed which was unusual at this time. When the train stopped at one of the station, this lady came in and just crowded me. Hey, fair game right? When the train arrived at my stop, the doors opened and she was blocking my way. I said "excuse", she just looked and didn't move. I said please move or I might hurt you if I bump you. All I got was a stare. Ten seconds later, no more mr. nice guy, I bulldozed my way to the door ramming the lady into a pole just in time before the door closed. She was saying something and I only had that "told ya so" look. I didn't mean to be rude and I know being rude to a person who was being rude in the first place isn't right but hey, I warned her.

One of the things I learned yesterday, pushing and shoving are just plain rude but in this place, no blood no foul. Everyone's aggressive and you will push and be pushed no matter who you are.

On to the MRT station and it was still hell but this time, I would be the devil.

A ultra jampacked train came and people still tried to enter. People from behind were pushing. I was pushing everyone in front of me. Hey the guy behind me was pushing me too! No one got on until probably the 4th train which was freakishly empty. It's an empty car! The gloves came off and I saw people pushing and elbow their way in. Pure madness. When the train arrived at my stop (I know now where the doors would open), I stepped out and I looked harrassed.

The session was boring and I heard my 234th computer joke of the week. Ugh.

After 9 agonizing hours, Gezelle was still teaching and Carla was still checked her mail so it was off to station with Alex, Jaye's project mate. My card was rejected upon entry (maybe because I inserted it too early?) and had to take it to the admin office. I told Alex to go on without me. Down at the platform, it was a lot more crowded than yesterday. =S I saw Carla and Cesar (a new friend from People Support) waiting. People were clearly frustrated because the trains would always arrive full with only 1 or 2 passengers able to enter. The old man beside me was furious. The guys behind me would just laughed it off. A train would stop, we would push everyone inside the train then step back and start laughing. Hahahaha bunch of jerks! Finally a train stopped with 10 people dropping off and all of us practically stormed inside. They pushed everyone out of the way forcing them further into the car while laughing.

I arrived at my MRT station and walked to the LRT station while texting Jaye telling her that I was still in one piece. I ran towards the stairs just in time before the train left. In the LRT station, instead of taking one of those jeeps waiting in a corner for passengers, I took the risk and went on to the main road and looked for a jeep was already on its way to my place. A jeep slowed down just a bit and while it was still moving, I ran to the back, grabbed the handle bars which swung me across the right brakelight and landed perfectly on the entrance with 8 bucks on hand and instanteneously said "bayad o". The guy inside said "galing nun a, parang spiderman." with a smile.

Mass Transit Day 1

I woke up today at 5am. Usually I would wake up at 6am but this week was different. I washed and dressed up (for today I picked a polo from my "non-japorms" set), I brought a different bag, a different wallet and a handful of coins.

What's so different about today? For starters, I will be reporting at Cybergate over at Pioneer. I've been there only once last year so the place is still somewhat new to me. Next, my car is out for repairs and maintenance and lastly, I didn't want mom to drive me all the way which means I'll have to do something that I haven't done, since my high school days - take mass transit.

Instead of the mail bag I always bring, I have a small bag with my "bare necessities" - a pen, a comb and coins. I emptied out my wallet to just contain a few bills and an ID. No credit cards, no Palmtops, no iPods, no extra items. Other than my phone, the most expensive thing on my bag would be...well, my bag which cost 10 bucks over at Aurora (Illinois).

I took the trike going out of our place. I remembered taking these trikes over to the basketball court so I can get my butt kicked by the senior players. Also taking the same trike was one of my oldest (as in earliest) closest friends from way back in the 80's when we would go biking, play in construction lots, play all-day with my family computer (up up down down left right left right B A B A... If you know that you're an 80's kid). First time we've seen each other since high school. From the main road I took an jeep then a van to the LRT (Light Rail Transit) station where I looked lost trying to insert my card. The train went through a tunnel and immediately it reminded me of Chicago - the noisy L Train with the grinding metal sounds. After a few stops, I had to switch over to another line - the MRT and like what I did over at the LRT station, I just followed people around and lined up where they lined up. The LRT ride was a pleasant one. No crowds, no problems.

Boarding the MRT was hell.

I was waiting behind the yellow line, there were around 8 people behind me, the train comes, the door opens and people were there packed like sardines. People from behind just start pushing, nothing happened and no one was able to board. 3 trains later, the people behind are starting to get irritated because they have been waiting for 20 minutes and are still unable to board. The next train comes and when everyone saw that it was not that full, I turned around and faced all of them. I learned this while boarding the red line after a Bears game at Grant Park. The doors opened and they pushed me into the train. I got on! They didn't. Doors closed and I had my "nye nye nye-nye-nye" face. Amazing that this was one place where people could push and push without complaining. It was like a cross check at a hockey game. As long as you push with your body, it was all fair. Finally the jampacked train stopped at my station and I positioned myself at the door. I peeked outside and saw no platform. What the ?!? The door opened on the other side, I pushed everyone across the car just in time before the doors closed and again, no one complained.

Finally I arrived at my destination. Nothing really interesting here other than the instructor looking like Joel Godard from Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Oh, I met again my long lost college friend Carla who was in the same class I was and my not so lost Chicago friend Gezelle who was teaching in the other room. (She did look like she lost a LOT of weight... kain kasi ng kain sa Chicago :P)

Going home was just tough along the MRT. From Cubao, Carla showed me the way through the mall to the connecting LRT which I found in no time. From the station, it was two more jeepneys and all that's left now is the trike to my house.

Now comes the weird part. I approached the station and only one tricycle was there with the driver standing beside it, staring at me. It was like he was waiting for me. As I approached and was about to ask if he was driving today but before I could say anything he said (with a friendly voice) he knows who I am and where I live. The last time I took these trikes was 9 years ago so I think it's impossible he remembered me. It was very weird. What next?

Follow the white rabbit?

Overall it was a pretty interesting day though I missed Jaye so so much =(

Carmona's Exit

Che Che's farewell video (miss you na...). I had to split it to three since this is a 30 minute video and multiply can only accomodate 10minute clips.

Of Crocodiles

I’ve seen this before on the National Geographic Channel. A pack of wilderbeasts were crossing the river where hungry crocs await. When one wilderbeast strays off, one croc blocks his escape route while three others bite and drag him underwater. They drag the carcass to land, dinner is served and so the chain of life continues.

I was at the EDSA – Ortigas intersection when one van foolishly tried to beat the red light. The van stopped, one cop blocked him up front while four others blocked his sides. No escape. The dragged the van to the side and I guess dinner is served for them as well.

Call them whatever you like: “MMDA”, “Kotong Cops”, “Buwaya”, etc etc…

Don’t worry, MMDA loyalists, Bayani Fernando loyalists and the good cops (all five of you), I’m referring to the bad ones.

You know who I’m talking about. The ones who make up a reason to flag you down then ask for a bribe. The ones who have “GREED” written over their faces. The ones who have their nameplates covered.

I’ve also had my encounters with them before. Three asked for bribes. Three I ran away from. Of those three, one had a motorcycle but was too fat and lazy to get on and chase me. The latest one I had was interesting. I know enough not to run the red light. Stoplight turned yellow and I stopped immediately. No sense rushing it right? Wrong! While sitting behind the red light, this MMDA officer flagged me down and asked for my license. I asked what for. I never heard a violation like that before:

Stepping.

Stepping? (I heard over the radio this morning c/o Chico and Delamar that other people were also caught for this.)

Stepping is what basketball referees call when you step on the out of bounds line. I asked him: “Stepping?”. I wanted to say that the other car traveled but decided to keep my mouth shut.

He explained that I stepped over the line when I stopped for the red light. He immediately “wrote” on the ticket and told me how much it was. I saw him writing something but when I got a glimpse on the ticket it was still blank. He looked at my license, saw my name and asked for my background. I explained who I was and he gave me my license back.

Hee hee hee… liar.

Let’s do a comparison shall we? The Philippine Crocodile Crocodylus mindorensis vs Mr. Bribe.

Pinoy Croc	:)	MMDA
Crocodylus mindorensis	Profile	MMDimus Coruptus Maximus
preys on antelopes, fish, shrimp, rats and water snails.	Diet	preys bigger animals like (Toyota) Tamaraws, (Ford) Lynxes and Philippine Rabbits.
featured in Brady Barr’s Dangerous Encounters show in National Geographic.	Fame	has been in “Hoy Gising!” and “Imbestigador” countless times.
found in freshwater areas – small lakes and ponds.	Habitat	found mostly in intersections behind hidden traffic signs. MMDA are also amphibious.
do not grow more than 3 meters with females being smaller.	Appearance	have size 40 pants.
When playing Counter Strike, these would be the ones roaming around the map with a shotgun.	Hunting Style	the ones who have sniper rifles waiting in certain areas waiting until the cows come home.
critically endangered.	Conservation Status	critically dangerous.
not aggressive but will bite when harassed.	Behavior	seem not aggressive but will bite AND harass.
shoot it with a tranquilizer gun.	When attacked	Good ol' Ninoy.
Show leather made handbags.	How to scare	Mayor's calling card or PNP ID.

Random Thoughts

And you thought Jerwin Gaco and TY Tang had a tough time in DLSU

While channel surfing, I "passed by" ESPN with the soccer commentator shouting "Gago has the ball and now Gago's down! Gago's down!" Gago was pronounced (Gah-goh and not Gey-goh). Turns out there really is a soccer player named Fernando Ruben Gago, an Argentine who plays for Real Madrid.

Sound effects really do make a difference

I was watching "Amazing Videos caught on tape" over at AXN. This guy crashed his motorcycle and they played this "suspense" background music making it seem that the guy COULD HAVE suffered "broken bones, internal bleeding... or even... (dramatic pause) ...death...", then moments later the guy stands up and walks away with a smile. Commentator goes "good thing he was lucky or else he would have broken bones, bleeding or even... death". He just slipped and fell!

Later that night I watched almost the same video over at America's Funniest Home Videos with a circus background music and funny sound effects and people were laughing.

Unless you want battle scars

Never fry fish without a shirt on.

Welcome Lee!

Lee, an expat from Ireland originally from Chicago, was here during the weekend for training with Jaye's project. Jaye, Ms Donna (Jaye's manager) and I toured him around which I called the Four City tour - Greenbelt, Greenhills (we taught Lee how to haggle... and he haggled them good!), Eastwood for dinner and Tiendesitas for trinkets and candies. Thanks for dinner!

And I'm more dangerous than the guy beside me with a shotgun?

Try walking around Makati with a camera. Now try taking some pictures. You'll be amazed how many security guards will tell you to stop taking pictures for security reasons. Lee was even asked to pay the museum first before taking pictures of statues outside.

Fooseball Mania

Arn 8. Jaye 4. It was Jaye's first fooseball game ever.

Sharla and Schmirna

I'm into the Amazing Race again! I wanted them to stay in the race so I can root against them more. My team? Ironically it's Rob and Amber.

Taxi conversations

Ferdie and Kath (Punzalan) and I had to go to another building and we decided to take the cab. We gave the driver a 10 peso tip which he was thankful for. It reminded me of that time when I tipped the driver a quarter in Chicago and the African-American driver ended up cursing me nonstop for 5 minutes. (It was my first cab ride)

The entry level assignment

I passed by Jollibee (a local burger stand) one time and saw one of the employees with two flags waving in cars into the drive through driveway. Do we really need someone to guide us in? Ok ok ok I know, I know it's for marketing but seriously? It's bad when a balloon hooked up to a wind blower can do a better job than you.

And our tax goes... there?

Two MMDA officers are giving traffic signals ON A ONE WAY STREET with no intersections. Two of them... just telling cars to go by waving their hands... and you need two of them because...?

Meanwhile, a few blocks away, what do I see? A traffic gridlock caused by a van who blocked the other lane, who were now blocking the other lane, who were blocking etc etc etc...

5 day DL

I am injured again but this is the first time that I really went down this year with a different injury other than just plain being tired. I strained my calves and aggrevated my plantar fasciitis because of yesterday's fire drill. Yesterday, I walked like a penguin (hurt like hell). Today, I walk like C3P0 (legs are so stiff). I'm guessing it will take a week to heal. No biggie.

Besides, I was checking ESPN and saw this article on Shaun Livingston (point guard for the LA Clippers). I even watched the video. Ouch!

"Livingston had an MRI exam Tuesday which revealed tears in the anterior cruciate ligament, posterior cruciate ligament, medial collateral ligament and lateral meniscus.

He also dislocated his patella, besides the previously diagnosed dislocation of his tibia-femoral. As a rookie in 2004, he dislocated his right knee."

And oh they forgot to mention that he broke a nail. This is the worst injury someone can have on his/her knee as all 4 ligaments were torn and the kneecap was dislocated. What did this guy do? Offered crap to the basketball gods? Compared to this guy, I felt like an iron man.

What Did I Just Say?!?

This was just weird.

I was outside the house last Sunday and saw four cats sleeping on our neighbor's driveway. Being the sound-effects guy that I am (and I do a very realistic cat's meow), I did a set of meows with different tones. I did a pa-cute meow (like a kitten), I did a long low toned meow (I think they do that when they're in trouble), I did the fast meow (to get their attention) in random order. I was trying to get them to come to me.

The four of them suddenly woke up. One cat ran to the right. One cat chased and brutally attacked him. The other cat ran left on the opposite direction. The remaining cat stood up and checked on the two fighting cats. Next I heard some angry meows, hisses and more meows. The other cat was clearly ticked off as he just wants to decapitate the other cat. It was like Ron Artest and Ben Wallace. It was like that cartoon sequence where they would fight into a big smoke cloud and you would see nothing but fists and feet... then one would start to crawl away but is dragged back into the cloud together with hitting and punching sound effects. The two cats fought and fought until one ran away into another neighbor's backyard. The cat that ran left was never seen again while the remaining cat just walked away cautiously.

I don't know what my meowing meant but I think it translated to "Your girlfriend is sleeping with one of your friends".

Now if only I know how to say "No.... your OTHER friend."

For here or to go

Jaye and I were at McDonald's for dinner last night. I ordered a McChicken meal while Jaye just had a chocolate milkshake. While the lady was punching in my order into the register, Jaye told me there weren't any seats available anymore. I told the lady that they didn't have any seats available anymore and so I requested if I could have my order to go instead.

She asked, "which one?".

I had my "huh?" blank stare.

She asked again, "do you want everything for take out?" while showing me my tray waiting for me to point at the items that I wanted to be bagged.

I took me a while to process and reprocess and reprocess what the heck she was talking about. I told her "yes, everything is for take out." still with a blank stare. We waited for her to leave to get our order then the moment she turned around, Jaye and I started laughing.

Let's see, there aren't any more seats in the restaurant so I'll have my sandwich to go. The coke is for dine in since I don't have a cup holder (I'll just drop by again to take a sip every other bite) then I'll just drive through for the milkshakes.

Which reminds me, a few years back, I passed by the Burger King drive-thru near our house and ordered a Whopper meal... to go. While I was driving on to the cashier window,

"oo nga naman... meron bang dine in na drive thru dito?"

The Elevator and the Deranged Lunatic

I was inside the elevator when the doors opened at the ground floor. This guy probably in his mid 30's, just entered the building and completed the usual "magic wand" security check, saw the open elevator doors, ran towards me while shouting "UP!" "UP!" "UP!".

I was standing near the doors where he had a clear view of me. I took one step to the left and I pressed the close door button of the elevator.

He was still running, still shouting "UP! UP! UP!", clutching his bag and now looking at me begging me to press the open button.

I looked at him and pressed the close button.

The doors started to close. He lunged towards the elevator doors and stuck his hand between it. The doors opened, he stepped in wheezing and panting and gave me a mean look. Then, in an angry tone: "Bingi ka ba? Sabi nang UP e! Pipindutin mo lang naman! Lahat ng tao nagmamadali! Bastos ka talaga!" (for my non-tagalog/EOP friends: Are you deaf? I told you I was going UP! Just press the button! Everone's in a rush! You're so rude!)

I only looked at him and said nothing as the doors closed. I had so many punch lines but before I could use any of it, he delivered one himself:

"ay... ba't nag-down?" (why did it go down?)

Switch to boxers dude. Whatever that is you're wearing, it's probably too tight.

How's my what...?

Hey meester taksee drivur, your drivin's ok... eet's yur speling that wi ol shud woree abawt.

Night at the Museum and Milkshakes

Jaye and I were supposed to play badminton last night but my balky knee was in no condition for any strenuous activity so we went to the movies instead – Night at the Museum! We saw the trailer for it when we watched Happy Feet last year and agreed to watch it when it comes out.

We were supposed to catch the 8:30pm show but I was stuck in a high priority emergency meeting until 8:15pm so we caught the next available show at 9:10pm.

I loved Night at the Museum. Honestly, I was expecting it to be an action/thriller type movie but it turned out to be more of the family-type variety. Lots of funny scenes! I loved Sacagewea (when she was tracking the vehicle) and Attila the Hun (the shouting scene). Jaye and I were just laughing our butts off.

The plot is simple. Maybe a little too simple. I can summarize the entire story in one sentence just like an anime episode (like in Slam Dunk, it took this dude 30 minutes to take and make a three point shot... the same time it would have taken if I had a pizza delivered.). Have you tried summarizing a CSI episode in one sentence?

(Say this in one breath) "They find a dead guy at the parking lot with a gun and a pool of blood beside him but there were no entry or exit wounds so they bring out some high tech equipment which at the end only determined that they guy was really dead and that his favorite color was orange, loved listening to punk rock and drank coffee every morning so they checked the gun and checked the documents from which they find out belonged to an oil tycoon who owned one of the casinos on the Strip so they tracked him down only to explain that he gave away that gun to some fella years ago so they all go back to the crime scene and find a banana peel and concluded that the guy slipped and fell on a gun on the ground... and that he was gay which has nothing to do whatsoever with the result of the show followed by Gil Grissom stating a Shakespearean quote. ooooooooowaaahoo hoo hoo hoo hoo.... "

Well whaddyaknow... you CAN summarize a CSI episode in one sentence!

Anyways, after the movie, we had dinner and had chocolate milkshakes from McDo!!! Mmmmmmm! So many memories…

DVD Players and Warranties

First a TV, now a DVD player. :)

We went over to the mall and picked up a JVC DVD player. After we tested the unit, the guy was now offering us an extended warranty (I think it was for 1 or 2 more years). We said no. He continued to jabber on about the benefits of having an extended warranty, that if something goes wrong they will give us a outight replacement instead of sending the player overseas for repairs. We still said no (The cost for the extended warranty was outside our budget and we promised ourselves we won't go over it this time). For the next few minutes, he goes on and on and on and on and on about what's it's like having an extended warranty (better service, more stores, faster turnaround times, etc etc...).

It's really starting to get annoying like those Citibank agents (They call almost everyday offering the same things over and over and over).

So I asked the guy if this thing broke easily given the way he was almost begging me to get the warranty. He bragged that this thing was made of high quality parts, will not break easily and none of the previous customers who bought the same thing have ever brought it back with complaints. Then I asked if this thing was as sturdy as he claims, what would the warranty he was offering me be for?

He had that "oo nga naman" look in his face and didn't bother us anymore. Jaye and I left the store laughing. Cruel ko daw... kulet e... :P

Look Arn! We can't cook either!

We have an entry (actually it was sent to me sometime ago...) from my dear friends in Chicago. It's a nice feeling that me sharing my vast knowledge and experience in food burning is deeply inspiring others.



This was sent by one of my favorite couples in ChiTown - Tessa and Copi. See the blending of the cooked, burned and charred layers of rice? See the artistic arrangement as well as how the colors mix with the chicken? See the emotions felt in the picture as reflected by how the rice was placed on the plate? Beautiful. Simply beautiful.

However, I see lots of areas for improvement. One, the chicken is cooked. It should at least be overcooked and a little bit charred. The design of the charring should be one with the charred rice. Harmony dude, harmony. Two, the charring only appears on the topmost layer of the rice. It should appear at the top and somewhere in the middle. Again dude, harmony. Three, going back to the chicken, there should be bits of charred skin all over the plate (or at least beside it). It creates a totally new dimension in appreciating this dish. It creates a story on how and why this poor chicken leg was cooked and eventually burned. With the charred skin, the viewer feels with the food, its current state, what happened and what will happen next. (If you looked at the picture again and started crying... go see a psychiatrist!)

Well, they did a great job but still need to work on a few things. That's why in the field of food burning, you guys are amateurs and I'm still the master.

Daydreaming

End of work day. I was at the men's room brushing my teeth. There was another guy washing his hands and when he left, the door closed behind him and the room fell silent.

There are two cubicles in the men's room in the 22nd floor. One had its door wide open. The other was locked. Suddenly, from someone's radio which was obviously had its volume set to high:

"Twenty second?"
...
"Twenty second!"
...
"TWENTY SECOND!"
...
(note: the security guards here call each other via walkie talkies by the floor they're currently stationed to.)
...
"... yes ser? ..."
"... san ka? ..."
"... sa 22nd ..."
"... wala ka e. San exac location mo?..."
...
"... 22nd? ..."
"... sa banyo ser. umeebak lang. 10 minutes!..."

I blurted out a quick cough and there was toothpaste all over the mirror.

Imagine if (knock on wood) terrorists infiltrated the 30th floor. Terrorists with AK-47s storm the office and take hostages. One brave security guard manages to disable one of the terrorists, steals his rifle and makes his way to the exit. The terrorists see the guy and open fire (just like in Filipino movies, they will manage to hit everything EXCEPT the target). The guard dives into the ground, under heavy fire but he finds a walkie talkie on the floor (again, like in Filipino movies, they find the most convenient things on the floor when in trouble). He contacts the 22nd floor for help...

"Thirtieth to twenty second... Thirtieth to twenty second... request backup! we are under heavy fire! I repeat, we are under heavy fire! Reqesting backup!"

(meanwhile, back in the quiet 22nd floor... let's cut and paste the conversation I just heard... )

"Twenty second?" ...
"Twenty second!" ...
"TWENTY SECOND!" ...
...
"... yes ser? ..."
"... san ka? ..."
"... sa 22nd ..."
"... wala ka e. San exac location mo?..."
...
"... 22nd? ..."
"... sa banyo ser. umeebak lang. 10 minutes!..."

put in a sexy star, a comedic side kick and a lame title and you have yourself a plot for a Pinoy action flick. Lastly, just because it's me, there will be a kidnapping plot somewhere at the end of the movie, they perform a successful rescue and they will all dance at some park.