Whatever Happened to Idol?

Maybe it’s because I’m not into country music and season 10 boils down to either Carrie Underwood 2.0 or a male version of Carrie.

Maybe it’s because it’s the same stuff every week where bad singers sing bad songs.

Maybe it’s because we have three cheerleaders instead of three judges.

Maybe it’s because Steven Tyler never made sense to me all season long and that his “criticisms” are virtually swappable with any other contestant.

Maybe it’s because Thia was booted out too early.

Maybe it’s because Thia deserved to be booted out early.

Maybe it’s because “The Voice” is just more fun to watch.

Maybe it’s because they don’t have Simon Cowell anymore.

Maybe it’s because it’s more fun to wash the dishes or do the laundry than to hear the judges say "it was pitchy” or “it was the wrong song choice”.

Maybe it’s because they didn’t replace Simon with someone who could provide criticism from an expert’s point of view.

Maybe it’s because Randy Jackson didn’t step up as that person who could provide criticism from an expert’s point of view.

Maybe it’s because I know that JLo and Steven Tyler are just using this show as a launch pad for their album and / or book.

Maybe it’s because they don’t have a hottie from the bunch.

Maybe it's because all the subplots were obviously scripted and were not interesting in the first place.

Maybe it’s because the most talked about topic between me and my friends was how Stefano hanged on for a couple more weeks than expected.

Maybe it’s because the NBA playoffs are in the same time slot as American Idol.

Maybe it’s because I wasn’t expecting James to be booted out of the top 4.

Maybe it’s because I wasn’t expecting Haley to be booted out of the top 3.

Maybe it’s because each Idol show is too saturated with sponsors.

Maybe it's because the show's really just that old.

Maybe it’s just a little bit if everything I listed above.

Pacquiao vs Mosley

This was lopsided from every angle. In terms of fight history, Mosley has been terrible in his last two fights (1 loss, 1 draw) while Manny steamrolled his way over the likes of Margarito, Cotto, Hatton, De la Hoya and a bunch of Mexican fighters. On paper, Mosley has the reach and height advantage but Manny has both age and beard length. If you look at them, Mosley looks old. It’s no wonder that even the Vegas odds were 8-1 for Manny.

So how do you promote this fight then? Easy, by putting that doubt that maybe, just maybe, the ’09 version of Mosley will show up and present a bigger challenge. Writers peppered sports sites with these possible scenarios. Did it work? Nope. We all knew that this was a sure win for the congressman.

I wanted to watch the fight but I couldn’t attend any of the Pacquiao parties my friends organized because of my slow recovery from knee surgery (still couldn’t walk). I was planning on just watching some movies on TV but I got a call from Joesil late in the afternoon and she said they wanted to watch the fight with us at our place. I ordered the PPV online then hooked my Macbook to our TV via HDMI cable. Eunice ordered pizza from Domino’s online and voila, instant semi-surprise party at our place.

Before the fight, the ringside reporters spent 20 minutes basically saying the same things: that Manny is favored to win this and that we shouldn’t count Mosley out (though they can’t give a valid reason other than… “malay mo manalo”). Of course, they hid the message by using those deep boxing terminology.

They announced that the honor guards will present both the US and Philippine flags. Carrying the US flag were four heavily uniformed US soldiers marching and barking out commands. The guy who was carrying the Philippine flag looked like someone they just plucked from the crowd “Hey you’re Pinoy, would you mind carrying this flag in the ring?”. Cute scene, it’s their home court advantage anyway.

By the way, I don’t want to comment on this but is that guy on the left holding uh... er... nevermind...

Charice came in and sang our anthem. No riffs, no changes, she stuck with the marching tune and sang it cleanly. Tyrese came in next, plugged his next movie Fast Five and Transformers and sang an R&B version of the Star Spangled Banner. Time it took Charice to sing our anthem: 1 minute, 2 seconds. Time it took Tyrese to sing Star Spangled Banner: 1 minute, 55 seconds. This doesn’t even include Jamie Foxx singing “America the Beautiful”.

I’m not saying Charice should sing a pop version of Lupang Hinirang (with matching traffic signal hand gestures) but at least we should do something to extend the time allocated to honor the Philippines. Why not have everyone whip out their right hand and recite our Panatang Makabayan?

They showed an LL Cool J rap video where he’s standing in a hallway with neon lights and his entourage that includes a boxe… oh wait, that Mosley! This is his entrance! LL steps to the side as the camera now focuses on Mosley until he reaches the ring. There was a long delay before they Manny entered the ring prompting us to give their own suggestion. Cristy says he should use “Bad Romance”. Jeff mentioned that last year they played that “Pilipino ang Lahi Ko” song. I think he should come out with a Mayweather lookalike then punches him before he reaches the ring.

They played his tune, the Rocky theme “Eye of the Tiger” and to the shock of everyone, Jimi Jamison was there singing it live. I’m betting that 80% of Pinoys don’t even know who sang “Eye of the Tiger” and that 99% of Pinoys have no idea who Jimi Jamison was. Manny’s entourage came out and almost trampled Jimi who didn’t want to get out of the way. Jimi decided to walk side by side with Manny while singing to get as much airtime as he can. I think he wanted to enter the ring and pray with Manny in the corner as well until he was stopped by an even bigger camera hog – Chavit.

Manny “Motolite” Pacquiao was now in the ring with his cool headband when they flashed the rules. The “No standing 8 count” baffled us but apparently, it meant when you’re knocked down, you can’t get up right away and let the count roll until 8. If you got knocked down and you want to rest, stay down until you’re ready.

With all respect to Jimmy Lennon Jr, I really missed Michael Buffer here. Even Bruce Buffer would have worked but “Ittttsssss Showwwwtiiiiimmee!” did not put is in the mood to rumble.

They introduced Kenny Bayless as the referee who’s also African-American. Uh oh. Nah, Bayless is classy. He’ll be fair. I guess I was just 0.00001% worried.

Tayoooooo!!!!

Jeff described Manny’s mouthpiece best: “Para siyang kumain ng sapin-sapin.”

The bell sounded and the match started. You can sum up the match in one sentence: They traded punches until the third round when Mosley got knocked down and from there, Mosley decided that he doesn’t want to get knocked out and aimed to just finish the fight standing up. Yes there was the phantom knockdown on Manny in the 10^th, the numerous high fives and accidental headbutt warnings but the match just wasn’t that exciting.

I’m guessing the producers were desperately looking for something interesting to show on air that they decided to show extended clips of Mosley’s girlfriend watching at ringside.

When the final bell sounded, the people booed. Manny came out to fight but Mosley went to retreat mode early and just didn’t want to get a KO loss. Shane never got to prove why people should respect him more. Does it suck to be Shane? Nah, he earned 5 million dollars from this fight and still has rockhard abs – two things I’ve been wanting to have for a long time.

Even the Manny interview was boring. He didn’t even say any great quote that we can use as a Facebook status.

In the end, it was fun times with great friends. A night that was scheduled to be a snoozer and me taking pain pills all nights morphed into our first ever “semi-surprise pagaling mo tuhod mo Arn” party at our place. Chalk one up to my theory “As long as you have good friends, the glass will will always be at least half full.”

Thanks guys!

2011 NBA Playoffs 2nd Round

It was as good as advertised, if not better. All the matchups and its corresponding subplots played out well (so far). Even the most boring series (Boston vs New York) still turned out to be watchable because you just had to see Carmelo Anthony turn it up a notch and see whether Chris Paul is the solution for them.

This year, I got the privilege of watching every NBA game with Jaye and so I got to explain to her what she needed to know from an NBA fan – not just from a DRose fan, not just a Chicago Bulls fan, not just a 2011 Chicago Bulls fan but from someone who followed and enjoyed the game since the early 90’s.

I explained that higher seeded teams are not a sure shot to win the series and that some teams are just designed to beat certain opponents – case in point, Memphis beating San Antonio and basically ending the Duncan era. Jaye got the bonus story about Tony Parker used to be married to Eva Longoria and that big weird white spot on the top of Ginobili’s head.

I explained why Chris Paul is one of the best persons in the NBA, not just by being an MVP candidate and putting up monster stats almost every night but by the fact that he forgave the kids who murdered his grandfather.

I explained that Dwight Howard has the best muscles in the NBA, that Shaq is the fattest and that Shrek (we never called him Glen Davis anymore) was the second fattest. Oh yeah, I had to remind her that Shaq was still in the league and is still in the playoffs.

I explained that that German guy (easier for her to remember) and Durant had unstoppable offensive moves and were freaks of nature.

I explained that that little guy who looks like a water boy for the Mavericks (JJ Barea) is dating a former Ms. Universe.

I explained that the Denver Nuggets had nothing to do with the manufacturing and exporting of frozen chicken nuggets (No, really.)

I explained the “On/Off switch” that San Antonio, Boston and Los Angeles had. How Boston found theirs, how San Antonio couldn’t find theirs and how Los Angeles found the dimmer switch instead.

I defined the term “playoff foul” and that guys like Jeff Foster were meant to dish those out.

I explained why the New York Knicks couldn’t defend a team from the ABL.

I explained that it was perfectly normal for a crowd to chant “Foster sucks!” or “Pacers suck!” and that it was just sports hate.

I explained, diagrammed and provided metrics to explain the difference between Boozer and Noah. How you’d see Boozer acting like a wimp (was going for another word but decided to keep it wholesome) on defense and how Noah hustles, gets into opponents’ heads and fires up the crowd. She understood this so well that she was shouting for Thibs to sub Gibson in for Boozer.

I explained that DRose was the most valuable player but not necessarily the best player (or the most talented player) in the league.

The second round of the playoffs has already started and it has given another set of subplots to watch: What’s up with DRose’s shoe? Can Boston still get back in the series or can they at least wound the surging Heat if it ends up in the conference finals? Can the Mavs get away with their defensive “strategy” against the Lakers? Are the Grizzlies for real?

I’m sticking with my bets despite the Heat surging and the Bulls stumbling along. I’m guessing the Bulls will finally find their NOS button. Down 0-2, I say the Lakers are done. Oklahoma and Memphis will fight to a virtual draw but Durant will just be too much and I say Boston (down 0-2 as of writing) wins game 3 but loses a big game 4 and eventually the series. Oh, and I say Pacquiao over Mosely via unanimous decision.

Cool video from SportsNation by the way (if you're a Miami fan):

The Surgery

The MRI results on my left knee came out and after translating the medical mumbo jumbo to English, my doctor basically says there’s a structural damage to my knee and it will require surgery to fix. He took out his pen, marked three X’s around my knee then explained that these are the locations where he will cut and insert the tubes through. He clicked his pen and casually told me he does this every Mondays and Wednesdays. I was petrified. Like a manager who just found their application went down, the barrage of questions followed: Will I be back to normal? Tubes?! Are you crazy? Why do you need to drill three holes?! When can I walk again? WHAT?! It costs THAT much?! WHAT??!?!? That’s only the professional fee?!?

Bottom line was, the surgery was just a matter of time as there was no realistic alternative. Jaye and I scheduled the earliest schedule available and I remained petrified for the next couple of days.

The day of the surgery came.

8:30 am – I was already wide awake despite sleeping very very late (we watched the breaking news that Bin Laden was killed). I couldn’t eat breakfast or drink milk (doc's orders) and my tummy was growling. I wondered if there was a way for them to tell if I really did eat something 12 hours before the surgery but decided not to risk it. I don’t want the surgeon to page Jaye and tell her “We couldn’t proceed with the surgery because there were traces of KitKat on his knee.”

9:30 am – We took the cab going to the hospital. The driver was tuned in to the news about the Bin Laden story, there were a couple of newspapers in the front seat that had OBL’s face and he looked pissed, really pissed. I gave him an extra dollar tip and we quickly entered the hospital.

10:30 am – After signing a ton of consent papers, the prepping started. They asked me to wear the medical gown and these really cool socks. Nurses and doctors would come in, introduce themselves and state that they are from some department that ends with “logy”. I never remembered them all.

10:45 am – One nurse came in and injected something on my arm. The skin flared up and I quickly asked, “What was that for?”. She told me it was for them to inject an even bigger needle. She unwrapped this syringe with a HUGE long needle and started jabbing me with it. I turned to Jaye who was confused because I was making these weird faces. It was painful.

11:15 am - My anesthesiologist came in and explained that she will put me to sleep. She gave me a series of questions and ended with “Do you need to pee?”. I said no. When she left, I suddenly had to pee. I hate it when that happens.

11:30 am – Surgeon came in and explained to Jaye what he will be doing. He took out a sharpie and signed my knee. He formally stated his name and that “I, will perform surgery to you, Arnold on the marked knee that I have signed.”. I guess this was for legal purposes. I wanted to raise my hand and say “So help me God.”, but I figured it’s not wise to joke with the surgeon before the surgery.

11:40 am – They wheeled me out of the room and into the operating hall where it was suddenly all white. They wheeled me into the operating room, which was huge and brightly lit. There were so many instruments and lights then they asked me to scoot over to the operating table. A couple more nurses introduced themselves then they plugged all sorts of monitoring equipment to my body. They secured my arms then the surgeon started putting something on my leg. They put on a mask on me and asked me to breathe. Then everything went dark...

12:45 pm – A classic “Where am I?” moment. I was no longer in the operating room. There was a machine hooked up to my arm, checking my BP every 5 minutes. A nurse was walking by and I groggily asked “Where’s Jaye?”. She asked “Who’s Jay?”. I said “my wife”. She said “Oh Jay’s a girl? You’re still in recovery. Sleep first.”

Here we go again.

I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t move my leg but I could twiddle my toes which was good. I bent down and saw that my knee was covered with heavy bandages. I did an external limb roll call and I was relieved to confirm that everyone was present including, you know…

1:30 pm – After a vitals check, they wheeled me out of the recovery room and on to another unrestricted recovery room where Jaye was waiting. A nurse came in with a box, opened it and took out a turkey sandwich. Now I have my wifey and a sandwich, things are starting to turn well for a change. After an hour of resting, they declared me fit to go home and they went through the do’s and don’t for the next few days. I told them I had to go to the bathroom and so I hopped out of bed, on to my crutches and started the painful walk to the toilet. Next thing I know, the nurses (and Jaye) were screaming because apparently I forgot that the robe I was wearing came loose and so the recovery room team saw this big white ass staring at them.

“Sorry!” I said.

Finally, they wheeled me out of the hospital and onto a cab. I guess the plan was to get me home ASAP before the effects of the Novocaine wears off. At least the surgery’s now done and will now be followed by weeks of healing and rehab. As I sit on my bed though, I have a cane on one hand, a canister of Vicodin on the other, my leg hurts and I feel like being a jerk. What could possibly go wrong?