No, they’re not human. They eat even if they don’t have to. Yes, they don’t sleep but they aren’t vampires (and they don’t put product on their hair or shimmer in the sunlight). Yes, they’re hot tempered but they aren’t werewolves (and they don’t take their shirt off for no reason at all).
We have lots of books about hobbits, elves, dwarves and other woodland creatures but there’s nothing much on these strange beings they call Tech Arch and so I’ll tell you more about them… presenting the ten truths about tech arch folk: 
They’re Time Travelers. They can bend the fabric of time and move to the past, the future and back to the present. They can implement requests that were logged today but due yesterday and they can do that “on time”. They can slow down time in such a way that they can implement a 2 hour task in 5 minutes. Why, I’ve seen them perform server maintenance in 0 hours, 0 minutes and 0 seconds. Amazing!
They’re Magicians. No, not wizards with point hats… magicians, as in they can pull something out of nothing if needed. Ask them if they have a roll back script or a maintenance document. The answer’s no. Close your eyes, turn around, open your eyes and voila, a roll back script and a maintenance document. Check the create date and you’ll notice it was done 6 months ago. Wow.
They’re Self Regenerating. Think Wolverine with a Microsoft Professional Certification. Even with the flu they never charge any sick leaves. They never take annual physical exams. Having a fever only slows them down a bit but they’ll still be in the office. They’re not zombies though since they bleed if you cut them or ask them to attend a one hour all English conference call.
They’re Robots. They have a high tolerance for repetitive tasks. They can perform the same boring task day after day after day after day after day after day after day… Plus, they don’t need to eat. You just plug them on a wall socket to charge them and they’re good to go.
They’re Allergic to Documentations. The only creatures known to be afraid of any documentations. They don’t like creating process documents, they don’t create status reports, they don’t write crap about anything. They’re tech arch, they don’t think or write - they DO. For them, it’s better to need a business continuity document and not have it. What’s the point? They can conjure it up out of thin air in an instant. One thing that puzzles me about them is while they do hate documentations, their resumes are always up to date with what they accomplished 3 hours ago. Go figure.
They’re Psychic. Imagine this, you’re thinking of a good web design. You make designs for it. You document it. You test it. You make the deployment instructions. Before you give it to them, the changes have already been implemented. They know what you were thinking. They know what you’re planning. They know what you did last summer. They just do.
They’re Insensitive to verbal abuse. When things go wrong, they take more tongue lashing than a PBA referee on the 7th game of a finals series. You can call them anything you want. You can tell them what you’d do if you had more authority. You can say anything and they just smile. They smile because they’re professional and they understand the business and that things can really just be emotional from time to time. Or they smile because they know if things go really wrong, people end up begging for help from these guys anyway.
They change names. Let’s say John Michael R. Villacosta is a new tech guy. After a month, the “Michael” is dropped permanently. Next month, the “R” is gone. Next, “John” is changed to “Jon” then “Villacosta” will mutate into “Villa” then eventually just “Vil”. After a few years, it just becomes “JV”, first name J, last name V but then get lots of certifications and so you now have “J V, MCP, MCAD, MSTCS” written in his birth certificate.
They Level up Really Really fast in Facebook games. While their friends are stuck at work creating documents and presentations, these guys are stuck at work planting cabbages in FarmVille then ask help from you because they need a new secret ingredient in CafĂ© World or they need a satellite phone in Mafia Wars. They also like statuses almost instantly. If you post “Ah-choo!” they reply back with “Bless you” within 5 minutes. They have magical accounts that just somehow slip through the firewall for some reason.
They Believe in the Concept of the “One Ring To Rule Them All”. They have administrator access to everything and everyone knows this as the highest, most powerful account but they’re wrong. There’s always a hidden, more powerful account which can control these other administrator accounts. It’s hidden. It’s not mentioned. It’s only passed on when one tech arch leaves permanently, like how the matrix of leadership was passed along to Optimus Prime in the Transformers. It’s not documented. The account name is usually a fictional person (eg “Rey Pinoco”) or the name of a guy who used to work but left eons ago. It can do anything and yet the password is just “password”. Tech arch folk hate complex passwords but they take care of the preccciousssssssss.