More Driving Stories

I was stuck in traffic (as usual) after work. I had my window open while my iPod was playing No Touch by Rocksteddy through my car stereo.

"Dead na dead talaga akosa mga pakembot-kembot mo..."

I didn't notice that this kid with sampaguita was beside my car on the driver's side... dancing. I was singing (more like shouting) and the kid just danced. Since it was a very stressful day at work, I started dancing as well. This lasted until the song was over.

I gave the kid 40 bucks. I was given all the sampaguita she carried. The funny thing was, she never asked me to buy any. I never said I wanted any flowers in return. The funny events that happen when I don't go home from work without Jaye...

What is it with me and dancing? Well, for starters, I don't dance. Watching me dance is like watching me washing my car. Some time ago, Jaye and I were walking somewhere when the intro for "Careless Whisper" started playing. I started doing the pole dance when she quickly hugged as if to say "no no no no, not here." Earlier last week, we went grocery shopping (by the way we bumped into Destry and Dez) and I was dancing in the aisle with a shampoo bottle in my hand.

"Kung hindi mo bibilisan sasayaw lang ako dito."

She dropped whatever shampoo she had into the basket and dragged me away. Wait until we get to the aisle with the cupcakes... Completely unbloggable.

War of the Worlds?

It was a quiet day for this small community.

A flash of lightning stunned everyone as this giant thing stood up and eclipsed the sun. A loud and scary buzz sounded after which, two weapons with nozzles came out. One was red, the other was green.

Instant chaos.

The giant thing with the two mysterious weapons wiped out almost the entire community. Some tried to run but they were hunted down. Some escaped into the woods. Most were unlucky.

A scene from War of the Worlds?

Nope. It was me towering over a small roach community outside our house with a can of Baygon on my left hand and a can of Raid on my right. Poor guys never stood a chance.

I don't care of you're their version of Tom Cruise, Mr Cuca. We can call it even.

What the heck am I talking about?!? Read this for part 1: http://arnoldrocks.blogspot.com/2007/01/arn-and-la-cucaracha.html

My Year 2007 Resolutions between the lines

Money has been one of my problems last year and the year before that and the year before before that and the year before before before that. I’ll try to set aside money for a brand new PSP that would probably corrupt my future

Last year, I played only one sport, tennis ,actually two if you count the cologne I bought from the Polo store. I will be more active and play more basketball even on weekdays on my Playstation 2.

I will lose weight by adjusting the weighing scale such that it starts at negative 25. I will eat healthier food, by healthier I meant more and take care of my SUV type body better.

I will travel the world and see famous places and landmarks here and in other countries through Google Earth.

I will not only curse but will also scream at the elevators that are slower than service over at BPI every morning ,lunch and night.

Instead of working on my SQL scripts and documentations, I will update my blog more during office hours.

I will at least attempt be a better driver. I will be kind enough to taxi and jeepney drivers to give them a one minute head start before I hunt them down along C5. I won’t stop constantly shouting to annoy truck drivers. I will obey all of the non-existent or poorly implemented traffic rules.

I will contact my friends abroad more than Citibank contacts me to get a credit card.

I will correct things that are out of place like Manny Pacquiao in movies. I will write one song that doesn’t involve food that would express the way I feel towards my hatred of certain things that poison my personal current events. I will rid my mind of any foolish ideas like, say, Richard Gomez’s decision to run for office.

I will lie on my bed all weekend and wait for the last minute before I study for my certification exams. My project team will be a huge success despite the issues encountered because of me

At the end of the year, I will be an even better meaning fatter man.

Thoughts on Nata De Coco

Nata De Coco.

... The product originates from the Philippines. wow! proudly Philippine produced! PPP!

...chewy, translucent, jelly-like food product produced by the bacterial fermentation of coconut water. Bacteria pala siya?

... most commonly sweetened as a candy or dessert, and can accompany many things including pickles, drinks, ice cream, and fruit mixes. pickles?!?

... "Nata de coco" comes from Spanish "Cream of Coconut". It originated from the Philippines but we gave it a Spanish name

... Cream in this sense means the fat from the coconut milk. So it's really processed fat?

... is highly regarded for its high dietary fiber and its zero fat and cholesterol content. How ironic, it's made of fat but it is zero fat?

... No preservatives or other chemicals are added to Nata de coco. so it's naturally yucky?

... Commercial nata de coco is made by small farmers in the Philippines. like oompa loompas?

... It requires a strong "glacial" acetic acid, however, and spillage of this ingredient will make the topsoil acidic. but we ingest it?

Some components of Nata De Coco:
N (c) 2 (11) 3
Ash 0.5 g 88.5
Moisture (Water) 84.4 g 45
Energy 61 kcal (255 kJ) 2.0
Protein 50 g** 0.7
Salt 45 g ** 3.5
Fat 65 g** 7.6
Total available carbohydrates include FIBTG 300 g** -
Silicon
Calcium (Ca) Milligram 800 58
Phosphorus (P) 800 mg 53
Iron (Fe) 15 mg -
Potassium (K) 3500 mg -
Monosodium glutamate (MSG) -
Copper (Cu) 2 mg -
Zinc (Zn) 15 mg -

Actually I made up three of them :P Can you name it?

The C5 Incident

It was the usual 9pm traffic - half of it are people coming home late from the office the other half are now my new number 1 enemy on the road

(1) Truck drivers who think they're driving a Kia Pride
(2) EDSA buses who don't get it that that train-like thing running above them is the reason their passenger volume is low. No not you G-Liners... we're cool. Read more from Rogeena's blog.
(3) Patrolman Durugas, the crocodile hunter (He's a crocodile and a hunter... nocturnal na, amphibous pa) over at EDSA/Ortigas.
(4) Jeepney drivers for well documented reasons.
(5) FX drivers for being upgraded clones of jeepney drivers (faster and a lot more rude)
(6) Motorcycle drivers who snake through a slow traffic

I was stuck in traffic last night. My window was open, I was singing (or shouting) "Welcome to the Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance, I had my elbow on the door then I hit my elbow on something... something hard... something metal.

The front bumper of a ten-wheeler truck?!?

This crazy-ass driver was cut into my lane while I was still in it. I gave him a full 10 second horn buzz and drove forward to avoid further damage. I pulled over to the side to avoid traffic and checked the damage. Ugh, a long scratch that dented my rear side door and a huge gash on my rims. The truck then disappeared in the mad mix of other trucks along C5. Well, I wasn't going after him anyway.

Flashback to a few years ago, a cab driver rammed into my rear door. This one had an even worse damage since my door was completely crumpled. I sued his ass. They required that I send him a picture of the damage. I sent him one with me on it flipping the bird. The total damage cost a lot but still it really wasn't worth all the trouble. It took over two years for the courts to process everthing. The driver counter charged and say that I bumped into him (which would mean he was parked on the center of the road and I made a 270 degree turn to bump him?). They checked the pictures of the damage (I had to edit myself out of the picture) and ruled against the cab driver (and laughed at his counter charge... First time I heard a judge say "haller"). What an experience that time. Interesting? Very. Fun? Kinda. Worth it? Not one bit. I didn't continue with it anymore. Such a waste of time. I gave him the pic and a 5-minute shouting bit... that was enough.

And so I wasn't really going after the truck driver this time. What's THAT going to accomplish me?

I was more concerned about the dent. Everything was still functional so it's good. The scratch can be rubbed and waxed off. Nothing I can do about the chipped paint and the dent though. The rim damage was bad.

Lastly, it was weird that I wasn't enraged when this happened. Usually, if a bird flies over and pooped on my car, I would follow it with a plate of chicken Inasal and tell him "Isa pa pare, subukan mo lang". Last night, I was just a tad upset but more on because it made me late for dinner. So much hate I've already let go...

so so much...

The Action Junkie

I was driving at around 1am last night (or this morning) when I got caught in a major traffic jam. A traffic jam at 1am?!? I would think it was either a ten wheeler truck crashed and blocked the entire road or they're having a swimsuit photo shoot somewhere. Nope, it was neither. After 30 minutes I found myself at the end of a slooooooow and thorough checkpoint. It was like the full body cavity search version for cars. I stepped out, they checked and found nothing. THey asked me to pop the trunk.

Suddenly, at the opposite lane, this car came speeding, screeching and crashing into a stop sign. Two police officers drew out their rifles and ran towards it. The other four drew out their hand guns and followed.

(Brain to Arn: Grab a weapon, any weapon, quick!!!)

I checked my car for any possible weapons and grabbed the one and only "deadly" weapon tucked beside the driver's seat. So it was 2 policemen with rifles, 4 with handguns behind them, and myself behind them all...

with nunchucks.

Hey it's the only available weapon I had. I don't keep a balisong (something like a Filipino switchblade) in my car ashtray anymore.

They asked the dude in the crashed car to step out. Guns were drawn. I was still behind with my nunchucks. I wasn't in the ready position though ('coz that would look reaaaaally stupid). I had it tucked in my left arm while standing straight up... as if I know how to use it. I looked like the body guard of a great Japanese crime lord in movies. The one who just stands there with no emotion but he ends up being the best fighter (who the hero will beat up at the end of the movie).

Hey, if the guy in the car comes out with a bulletproof vest and start charging at us, the six of you can shoot him all night. I'll beat him senseless.

Then it dawned on me. Six cops were on the crash site. None were in the checkpoint (where cars were now madly honking their horns). I took a few steps back, jumped into my car and sped off thinking "Why the heck did I follow those officers in the first place?".

I think it was the coffee I had before leaving the office. I think it was from watching too many action movies (I watched Doom last Sunday). I think it was from watching too many Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I think it's all of the above.

Arn and La Cucaracha

While walking to my room one day, a roach came out of nowhere and stopped in front of me as if challenging me to a duel. This wasn’t any of those sissy roaches. It was like the grand daddy of roaches with big wings and fangs (ok, I made that last thing up).

After a long pause and stare, I thought about wacking him with my slippers. I slowly grabbed my slipper and took a few steps forward. La cucaracha didn’t even budge as if telling me “You wouldn’t dare”. He’s right, I wouldn’t… why?

1) These are original Reefs.
2) His cousins are somewhere watching and would swear revenge against me.
3) It would make a mess.
4) Wacking roaches with slippers is like so 1970’s. (The 2007 way would be to write them on your blog… like what I’m doing right now)

Ok McGyver, how do you kill it without squishing him?

The rules are simple. You can’t leave the area since that means I’m running away and mister cuca there will escape and tell his friends that that fat dude is a big wimp. I was in the hallway so I can’t run to the yard and grab a broom. You must only the things that are within an arm’s reach. A Baygon would have been perfect but it’s somewhere outside. I had to use something else...

A candle and a match. Burn him? He’s no witch.

Dental floss. Hang him? If ever he was a dictator I’m sure he wasn’t that bad.

A whiteboard marker. Yea… draw a moustache on his face. That should scare him off.

Scissors. Just like a horror movie. I could tie his legs with the dental floss and leave the scissors there. Oh, you haven’t watched “Saw”?

Toothpicks. Give us one each and see us duel to the death. I’m sure he would protest once he realizes toothpicks can’t penetrate through my layers and layers of fat.

A USB flash drive (which belongs to dad). It uses USB 2.0 technology… not sure if it’s compatible with this specie of roaches.

A box of audio CD’s. The most sinister one is Jose Mari Chan’s. I’m sure after playing “Beautiful Girl” for the 26th time he’ll commit suicide.

A box of tissues, car keys, a calculator, a pile of bills and mail, figurines, yeesh… all worthless.

A few feet away was a can of… BAYGO… oh wait it’s Glade. Well, it looks like a can of Baygon. What does Glade do to roaches anyway? I took the can, moved slowly and sprayed it directly at him.

He ran a few feet towards the living room and disappeared under one of our old tables. So much for Arn the Cucaracha Slayer. Now we have a ticked off roach on the loose around the house that smells like a bouquet of flowers.

Celebrating 2006

“Me.”

That was my theme for 2006.

It does sound selfish but on December 2005, I felt that in order for me to move on I must start with myself. The previous years were rough and I end up living life one day at a time. I said to myself that 2006 will be my year. The year when I look ahead, I fix things and I do the one thing that summarizes the entire 2006 - getting the monkeys off my back.

2005, I had to walk away from two things that brought meaning to my life. I officially went into rebuilding mode. 2005 was about people telling me I couldn’t accomplish much, that I was nothing and was treated like dirt. 2005 really bombed.

Conversely, 2006 was probably the best year I’ve had in my life. It’s like that one magical day in your life when all (and I mean ALL) things in your “today’s to do list:” are checked. 2006 is the happiest and most successful year I had and it didn’t have anything to do with the word “comeback”. It was the year when I proved my 2005 demons wrong.

2006 was a blast and as I counted down the seconds of the year to the drum beats beside Manila Bay waiting for the fireworks, I can’t help but smile and pat myself on the back for a job well done.

Of course, this wouldn’t have been possible without the help of you guys - from the person who takes care of me, my family who supported me, my friends who looked out for me, my “kids”, my Chicago family (2 of which are here already) and to everyone who frequents this blog. Thanks for reading and laughing with me.