Arn and La Cucaracha

While walking to my room one day, a roach came out of nowhere and stopped in front of me as if challenging me to a duel. This wasn’t any of those sissy roaches. It was like the grand daddy of roaches with big wings and fangs (ok, I made that last thing up).

After a long pause and stare, I thought about wacking him with my slippers. I slowly grabbed my slipper and took a few steps forward. La cucaracha didn’t even budge as if telling me “You wouldn’t dare”. He’s right, I wouldn’t… why?

1) These are original Reefs.
2) His cousins are somewhere watching and would swear revenge against me.
3) It would make a mess.
4) Wacking roaches with slippers is like so 1970’s. (The 2007 way would be to write them on your blog… like what I’m doing right now)

Ok McGyver, how do you kill it without squishing him?

The rules are simple. You can’t leave the area since that means I’m running away and mister cuca there will escape and tell his friends that that fat dude is a big wimp. I was in the hallway so I can’t run to the yard and grab a broom. You must only the things that are within an arm’s reach. A Baygon would have been perfect but it’s somewhere outside. I had to use something else...

A candle and a match. Burn him? He’s no witch.

Dental floss. Hang him? If ever he was a dictator I’m sure he wasn’t that bad.

A whiteboard marker. Yea… draw a moustache on his face. That should scare him off.

Scissors. Just like a horror movie. I could tie his legs with the dental floss and leave the scissors there. Oh, you haven’t watched “Saw”?

Toothpicks. Give us one each and see us duel to the death. I’m sure he would protest once he realizes toothpicks can’t penetrate through my layers and layers of fat.

A USB flash drive (which belongs to dad). It uses USB 2.0 technology… not sure if it’s compatible with this specie of roaches.

A box of audio CD’s. The most sinister one is Jose Mari Chan’s. I’m sure after playing “Beautiful Girl” for the 26th time he’ll commit suicide.

A box of tissues, car keys, a calculator, a pile of bills and mail, figurines, yeesh… all worthless.

A few feet away was a can of… BAYGO… oh wait it’s Glade. Well, it looks like a can of Baygon. What does Glade do to roaches anyway? I took the can, moved slowly and sprayed it directly at him.

He ran a few feet towards the living room and disappeared under one of our old tables. So much for Arn the Cucaracha Slayer. Now we have a ticked off roach on the loose around the house that smells like a bouquet of flowers.