Of Gay-Love and the NBA

During the NBA draft (it's when NBA teams pick new players from college), the Memphis Grizzlies selected center Kevin Love from UCLA. So Memphis drafted a guy named "Love". It wasn't really a big deal until I realized that Memphis' star player was named "Rudy Gay".

I was laughing my butt off since Memphis will be fielding a team with Gay-Love. They also have a center named "Kwame Brown".

"Brown rebounds the ball and passes to Love. Love turns to Gay and takes it to the hole! Brown Gay Love does it again!"

Unfortunately, Memphis immediately traded Kevin Love to another team and got a guy named "OJ Mayo" back in return and "Gay-Mayo" is just not funny :(

Playing One on One

I was leading 23 to 18 against my brother in a half court game of basketball. I was breathing heavily and my head felt like it was made of marshmallows. I was dizzy because I was already exhausted and I couldn’t think properly to figure out how to score 7 more points to win the whole thing.

My brother and I play our backyard half court basketball one on ones seriously. We played years ago when he was a runt who couldn’t shoot a free throw and we’re still playing now though he’s playing for the college league over at La Salle. He made bigger adjustments and improvements in his game than I did. His weaknesses (height, slow lateral movement, inaccurate jumpshot) are now his strengths and his strengths (high jumper, faster, shot range) are now his specialties. Me? Well, I got fatter and slower.

So basically, he’s faster and he’s stronger.

I was dribbling the ball and I faked to my right and drove to my left switching hands in mid-air. He knew what I was doing and he slapped away the shot.

So he’s faster, stronger AND smarter. Damn, I thought I had the last one to my advantage.

I DID outsmart him in one play. I flipped the ball with my left hand and I know he was going to block it. I extended my right arm and counter-slapped him the other way. Instead of blocking my shot, his hand hit mine as if giving me a high five and the ball went in. Weird play.

So again I was dribbling the ball while leading 23 to 18. My knees hurt too much to do direction fakes and I couldn’t bend my back more so I was doing a high dribble which was extremely easy to steal. He reached in near my tummy but I bent over and he got his arm stuck in my belly gut! He couldn’t get it out! I drove to my right side and laid the ball in with his arm still stuck in my belly. It’s not a foul on me. It’s not a foul on him. He was laughing hard since I invented a new signature move: the “bilbil clamp”

I followed up this play with a line drive three pointer. Since I was two points away from winning the game, he shot a three pointer easily and uncontested.

Next play, I drove wildly to the basket, spun around and flipped a right handed hook shot. It hit the board and nothing else. He got the ball and shot another three pointer. It was clear he could score if he wanted to.

Last play, it was make or break. I drove hard to my right and went up for a shot. He was waiting for me midair so I flipped up the shot.

It missed so bad it hit the side of the board and dropped it front of me for a wide open follow up shot. Game over. I win.

I was breathing so heavily and I was walking around. My brother was shooting more jumpshots. I walked a little more until I threw up. My brother was practicing his lay up… and he was fresh as a daisy. He gave me the ball and I tried to take a jumpshot. I bent down and my knee just gave way and buckled.

I think I just reached my physical limit and I looked extremely out of shape. Good thing you don't get points for playing pretty.

The Philippine Independence (non text book version)

Happy Independence day! Oh wait, was it June 9? Wait wait, it’s still June 12? What is this I hear that July 4 is our real independence day?

Let’s see, according to text books, the Philippines declared our independence on June 12, 1898 from Spain. Later that year (December 10 to be exact), Spain surrendered the Philippines to the US which means our independence was not really recognized by other nations.

On July 4, 1946, the US finally gave the Philippines independence and exactly one month later, President Macapagal changed the date to June 12 in the name of nationalism and as advised by historians.

This year, it’s still set to June 12 but is celebrated on the 9th so we’ll have a long weekend. The president cancelled the yearly June 12 parade to cut costs. Whatever happened to nationalism? Where are the historians? How can this happen especially when our current president’s dad is the same president who changed the date to June 12?

With this, I greet you with the new standard Independence day greeting:

“Happy independence day! Kelan nga ba?”

The Mental Block

It was 10:30pm and Jaye and I just finished a grueling day at the office. We stopped by the ATM to withdraw money and we needed to take out 15 thousand bucks. I inserted my card, entered the amount but the machine gave me an error message. It says I can only withdraw 10 thousand per transaction. Oh ok, so I withdrew 10 thousand bucks then inserted the card again for a second transaction.

“Enter PIN.”

I stood there with a blank stare and my mouth open. Jaye looked at me and asked what was wrong.

I forgot my PIN.

“But you just entered it a minute ago!”

I know. But I forgot. I looked at Jaye with a “No, really…” look.

Let’s see, I was assigned onshore for almost a year and I never used my card that time. The moment I landed in Manila, I took out some money from the ATM and I remembered the PIN without trying.

How can I suddenly forget in a span of 5 minutes?

It was the same PIN I used for years and years and years and I never forgot it. Take note that I was sent onshore twice and I was able to remember the PIN when I returned twice. I tried to insert the card and maybe the number key pad can remind me.

Nothing.

We left the booth since someone else was in line. I stood up and gave it a good long thought. 2 numbers appeared in my mind. I don’t know what those are but I went back to the ATM and tried it.

"Incorrect PIN."

I tried the other number.

"Incorreect PIN."

Jaye told me that I just a long day, was just tired but I’ll surely remember it tomorrow. I tried not to think about it that night and went to sleep. The moment I woke up in the morning, I tried to think about the PIN. No dice.

Here’s the funny part: I went through my old archives and found my old journal with my PIN written somewhere in the middle. I saw the PIN. It was labeled. I looked at the PIN. I stared at the PIN.

The PIN didn’t make sense.

It was like I’ve never seen this combination before. I wrote it down and went to the mall still wondering why I wasn’t “OH THAT! YEAH! NOW I REMEMBER” and all. I ran to the ATM machine and inserted my card. I entered the PIN combination from my notes.

It worked.

And it still didn’t make sense.

Am I getting that old?

The “Guess What Happened to Arn” Contest

Remember my last post? Remember when I said I just left the office for “personal matters”? I didn’t give out details and it left my office mates awfully curious. I did mention that I had to deal with something and that it had something to do with my car, chicken and smelling like garbage.

So they held a contest.

A “Guess what happened to Arn” Contest.

If you haven’t read my last post you’ll know that there was rotting chicken fat on my windshield which I had to get cleaned ASAP since the smell somehow got into my clothes.

Pretty interesting entries… We’ll judge them using 3 criteria weighing 10 points each. Creativity, How well you know Arn and how close to what really happened.

Entry 1
“Habang nag dridrive sa C5 na naka open yun window ng car ni Arn, sa harap nya meron open elf na nagdedeliver ng live chicken. Then accidentally nag open yun door nun elf and yun mga chicken nagliparan, most of the chicken e pumasok sa car ni arn through the window.”

Creativity (8/10) – It looks like a typical Arn story.
How well… (7/10) – I don’t drive in C5 anymore ever since the construction began on that overhead U turn pass.
How close… (5/10) – Way off. Again, Garbage was outside and it was chicken meat, not an actual live chicken.

Entry 2
“Open and window ng sasakyan > May dump truck > tumapon yung garbage sa loob ng car”

Creativity (6/10) – Pretty straightforward.
How well… (6/10) – I don’t open my car windows anymore.
How close… (5/10) – Way off. The garbage was outside the car.

Entry 3
“Hmmm… me street accident involving garbage collectors… nag offer si arn na magsugod ng casualties(mga garbage collectors) sa nearest hospital… "

Creativity (8/10) – again another typical Arn story though it may be a tad dramatic.
How well… (6/10) – I’ll be honest here: I probably wouldn’t. I’ll probably cause more damage since I have close to no knowledge on medical procedures. The proper thing to do there is wait for an ambulance so they can do it right.
How close… (7/10) – It’s off but they got the fact that I smelled like garbage right.

Entry 4
“Pag dating ng stop light sa corner ng C5 and Ortigas Avenue, suddenly, isang gusgusing bata na may hawak ng sampaguita, ang nag knock sa window ng car right in front of his, na parang nagmamakawawang bumili ng sampaguita. It looks like the driver of the car in front ignored the little kid, by the senyas na di sya kukuha. Alas! ang ginawa ng little kid ay biglang sumenyas sa dalawang kalalakihan na nakatayo sa di kalayuan. Biglang kinabahan si Arn, pero naka red light pa rin at talagang super traffic nung time na yun. Pag dating nila sa tabi ng kotse in front ay sabay sabay nilang binunot yung kanilang mga kamay at saka sabay sabay silang tatlo na nangulangot! Sabay sabay din nilang pinag didikitan ng kulangot ang windshield, side mirror saka handle ng pinto ng kotse in front!

Dahil sa pagkabigla ng driver nung car in front, nangulangot din sya at dali-dali nyang dinikitan ng kulangot sa kamay ang bata, gumanti naman daw yung bata at pinunas naman ng bata ang kanyang sipon sa may bandang bibig ng driver nung car in front. Samantalang lalong nagalit daw yung dalawang kalalakihan, kayat ang ginawa nila ay palit-palitan nilang pinag duduraan yung kotse in front, may Mga halong plema daw at sipon yung nagdikitan sa kotse. Fortunately, nakita pala ng traffic police yung nangyari, kayat tinulungan ng traffic police yung driver na yun, pinagduduraan nya naman yung mga lalaking angdudura. Nakita rin ito ng ilang drayber kaya tinulungan din nila yung driver in front, nakipag duraan din sila sa mga lalaki na nandudura.

During that time may garbage truck na nasa kanan at elf na truck nanagdedeliver ng live chickens sa kaliwa ng kotse ni Arn. Nagbato yung isang palero ng bag of garbage sa mga dumudura pero ang natamaan yung hood at windshield nga auto ni Arn. May mga basura din na tumama sa elf na truck w/c actually opened the door sa elf na truck at lumipad yung mga chickens. Since open yung window ni Arn nadali siya sa basura, manok at ng sipon and plema-crossfire. Ng mag green na yung traffic light, naging green na rin daw yung kalsada dahil sa mga hilaw na plema at mga kulangot na nagkalat. On top of that may mga balahibo pa ng manok at basura. Kaya mag-ingat kayo pag dumadaan kayo sa intersection na yan…”

Creativity (10/10) – Wow! Now that’s a story!
How well… (10/10) – This guy knows me too well, it’s creepy. A bit too gross though...
How close… (8/10) – Way off but does it still matter?

It's not even close! Winner: entry 4!

Weirdest Excuse for Going Home Early from Work

The day started like all my other mornings. I woke up, showered, got dressed, got my stuff, walked to my car, closed the door and started the engine. I suddenly stopped...

Something was wrong. Something… stinks. Something was rotting.

I checked my messy backseat to see if there was something unusual - A .Net book, Blue (my stuffed penguin), air compressor and a bunch of hangers. Nothing. I drove off slowly and saw a garbage truck beside our house. Culprit found. I turned on the radio and sped away. I turned on the air conditioner and got face full of stink. Eww! Luckily the smell only lasted a few seconds and it was back to normal.

Traffic was crazy. Libis was full. Ortigas was jammed. Julius, who was also on his way to the office, texted me and told me he was stuck in traffic as well. I asked him if there was something up today and we assumed it was just “cars on the road” day. I picked up Jaye at her place, went to the office and parked in my usual parking slot. I took out my long sleeved shirt from the back seat and put it on.

There’s that smell again.

It smelled like that garbage truck. You know that liquid that drips on the side of garbage trucks? That’s what it exactly smelled like. It’s impossible that the smell stuck to my tires.

Or is it? Nah. I was then thinking maybe a mouse crawled somewhere and just died.

Jaye took her stuff, I locked the door and we started walking towards the elevators. She gave a small shriek:

“Ewww! Ano yan?”

Something was splattered on my car hood. The liquid dripped down to my headlights and my air vents (which explains why my air conditioner “farted” earlier). There are traces of translucent liquid on my windshield. I checked that pit below my windshield wiper and saw something.

Jaye walked away and coughed in disgust as the smell wafted towards us.

I walked towards it (kunwari macho) to have a closer look.

Something was there. Something was dead. That something was a chunk of meat. Yuck!

Jaye checked and she says it was chicken… chicken fat to be exact. I took one of the old hangers from my backseat and flipped the chicken fat off my windshield. It landed beside the car and I kicked it to a corner so we won’t step on it later. The smell was starting to be irritating. I have something against the smell of rotten stuff which is why taking out the garbage is my least favorite house chore. I threw the hanger into the garbage can in disgust.

Jaye and I left for the elevators as we decided to just have it cleaned later. While in the elevator, the stranger beside me noted that he smells garbage. Uh oh. I smell it too.

Jaye went to her floor and I went to my cube. I worked for a few minutes and immediately I smelled THAT smell again. It’s my shoes. I splashed alcohol on it but it still smelled like a dead skunk. I went to the men’s room and washed my shoes. I went back to my cube and removed my shoes but it now smelled like a wet dead skunk. Something else caught the smell.

Oh no… my pants.

Should I remove… nah.

Maybe it was when I flung the chicken fat. Maybe I brushed against something. I was hopping mad and severely irritated. The smell was driving me nuts and I couldn’t concentrate anymore.

My office cube started to smell like a garbage dump. Tina dropped by and asked something. I told her to step back but she just laughed, thinking I was joking. Julius arrived and I asked him to stay away (which he did after giving me a weird look).

Next came my weirdest excuse for missing work. I just told my officemates that something came up and I just had to go. Never write emails when you're angry (and never promise anything when you're happy). I had a quick lunch with Jaye and went to my car.

Inside the elevator, my 2 onshore friends with there – Leah and Alfred. Yup, they were parked near my car. They didn’t comment but I think they noticed. The section I parked in smelled like garbage! Yuck! I went inside my car and drove off.

Outside, I saw my old officemate JK. I opened my window to say hi but the smell suddenly gushed inside the car as if it was sprayed. JK gave me a dazed look wondering why I would call him then make faces.

Back home, I parked outside washed the car and gave it a big dose of Lysol.

Now comes the interesting part: HOW?

We didn’t get it from the office parking lot since Jaye arranged my windshield wipers before leaving. I didn’t notice anything when I parked my car last night. I did park in front of this house while I brought out the groceries to Jaye’s place. Maybe I got it there. Hmmm… here are the only possible causes:

- A chicken flew into our garage then a cat came and clawed its guts out. The cat didn’t eat the fat since it was on Atkin’s.
- Someone threw garbage while I was driving past a pedestrian flyover.
- Some A-holes placed it there as a prank.
- It fell of a garbage truck on my way home.
- High prices of gasoline (they say it’s the cause of all our problems).

Hmmm… did that garbage truck I saw in the morning has to do anything with it?. If it happened while I was parked at home, why my car and not my brother’s? Why chicken (we didn’t have chicken that day)? Why oh why?

So many questions.

Idol Thoughts

This is the first time I watched the Final 12 of American Idol because well, I guess this is the first time I honestly rooted for someone. During Season 3, I was rooting for Jasmine Trias but honestly it was more because she was Filipina more than she was a good singer.

Jaye and I were both rooting for David Cook. I wasn’t really into Idol during the early part of the season but I first heard of David Cook when he sang “Hello”. I also saw an entry of him in Vench’s blog comparing his version of Billie Jean with another Idol contestant before. The first David Cook song I loved was “Always Be My Baby”. I bought that from iTunes (as well as the video) and was rooting for him since. David Cook had Jaye at… er…”Hello”.

During the finals we both wished David Cook would win against David Archuleta. David Archuleta is a great guy and a great singer but, he’s just not my idol. I would want to watch him but not to be him. He’s too predictable and he has signs of the “Britney Syndrome” where all his songs tend to sound alike (not because of his voice but his arrangements). Let me guess, his debut album would be a close up picture of him smiling against nature or a plain background. His album would be named something like “Believe in Dreams” and his singles are almost certain to have cheesy names (I’ll post an entry once it comes out to confirm).

I have nothing against Archuleta and you can go ahead with your anti – cook comments from his “arrogance” (come to think of it, I think this is more because Archuleta is so polite that he makes the pope look like a drunk uncle), or his songs are too “noisy”. You can also read all the side stories behind these two contestants from Archuleta’s dad to Cook already releasing 4 albums prior to his Idol audition. The Cook vs Archuleta final is simply a choice between two styles and genres. My mom prefers the Groban style and she was behind Archuleta. Jaye and I love rockers so we’re behind Cook. My dad got confused and rooted for Archuleta because he was “Filipino” (“Archuleta” nga naman…).

Speaking of Filipinos, you’ve probably heard of Renaldo Lapus as the second Filipino in the American Idol finale stage singing the now famous “We’re Brothers Forever”. He stole the spotlight from Ramiele Malubay who sadly "disappeared" on the show. Sad to say Ramiele is more famous for her controversial pictures posted online where she was touching er… uh… you be the judge (at least she didn’t pull a Vanessa Hudgens).

Going back to Renaldo, why do I have a funny feeling that people call him… “Tito Boy”.

The Arn Quiz! Part 2

1. What’s new with Arn since Quiz #1?
a) He trains dogs.
b) He joined Digital Photographer Philippines.
c) He bought a new Nikon camera.
d) He got injured again.
e) He’s into lomography.
f) He finally cleaned his room after almost 5 years
g) He took pictures of the moon.
h) He went to Batangas just to take a tear jerking picture of the sunset.
i) All of the above.

2. While taking pictures along Marikina River, Jaye and Arn…
a) Were asked to obtain a permit first before taking a picture of the river
b) Were told by the mall guard that they OWN the river
c) Were told that their area was from the mall up to this Mango tree near the Marcos Highway bridge
d) Went to the bridge and took a picture of manong guard… for kicks.
e) All of the above.

Answer to #1: I

3. Which of the following does Arn think they're hiding in the river?
a) The droids with the circuit plans.
b) Weapons of mass destruction.
c) The "second envelope" during the Erap trial.
d) An underwater lab for mass producing pirated DVD's of "The Hottie and the Nottie" (starring Paris Hilton)
e) Carmen San Diego

Answer to #2: E

4. Arn and Jaye left Marikina River because
a) They were overwhelmed by the brain pinching logic of manong guard and the no picture taking policy.
b) You just don't argue with people carrying shot guns.
c) The place is a dump. There were no decorations, gardens or any establishments. There was garbage everywhere and the river looked like Satan personally peed on it.
d) In exactly 2.3 seconds, you've already seen what needs to be seen in that place.
e) All of the above.

Answer to #3: Does it even matter? I think it was A though...

5. Arn was eating a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. Arn took out the foil wrapper and ate the whole thing. Why was it funny?
a) Arn doesn’t like peanut butter.
b) Arn prefers Snickers.
c) Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup has a black paper wrapping under the foil wrapper.
d) The black paper was not edible.
e) C and D

Answer to #4: E

6. Arn sleeps on:
a) A big bed with plenty of pillows, a blanket and a comforter.
b) A pile of boxes with a pillow
c) Piles and piles of money
d) The floor

Answer to #5: E

7. One morning, Arn strained his thigh and couldn’t walk for 2 days. He got injured while:
a) Sleeping
b) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA what a wimp!

Answer to #6: B (they threw out my old bed while I was in the US)

8. While jogging, Arn recorded his fastest “lap” in nearly 4 years because of:
a) All his hard work, patience and determination
b) His magnificent physique
c) Lower body strength and stamina
d) 4 stray dogs

Answer to #7: A (I got cramps while sleeping and I wasn’t able to wake up and “correct” my leg)

9. Because of #8, Arn jogs with:
a) A golf club
b) Pepper spray
c) A tennis racket
d) A samurai sword
e) A permit to take pictures along Marikina River.

Answer to #8: D

10. It’s performance evaluation time in our company and I gave a list of my accomplishments for the past year. What did I include in my list:
a) Solved world hunger
b) Captured Osama Bin Laden
c) Saved 4 kittens from drowning
d) All of the above.

Answer to #9: D

11. What American product or establishment arrived in Manila and made Arn really happy?
a) Krispy Kremes
b) Playboy Philippines
c) Hooters
d) Ben and Jerry Ice Cream
e) All of the above

Answer to #10: D (They're lies though)

12. Arn was the official photographer in the HR Apps beach outing. How many pictures did he take? (clue: he set his new personal record)
a) 750
b) 850
c) 950
d) 1050

Answer to #11: A & D.... 0:)

13. Out of those pictures, how many pictures had Arn in it?
a) 1
b) 2
c) 10
d) 1050

Answer to #12: D

14. Arn started his diet this May. Which of the following diet restrictions did he actually follow?
a) …
b) …
c) …
d) …

Answer to #13: B

ESSAY: In 500 words or less, explain how Arn's craving for a healthy plate of california maki ended up ordering a Chickenjoy meal with fries and extra rice.

Coincidence

Guy 1: "Pare anong ibig sabihin ng 'coincidence'"?
Guy 2: "Pare ewan, pero weird, yan din iniisip ko ngayon!”

Arn and the Wedding Photographer

It was mid 2007 when I decided to take up photography and attempt to make a side career with it. I started with taking pictures of squirrels at the park then moved to covering small events and gatherings then moved to portrait photography then to photojournalism and just plain art photography. Basically I’ll take pictures of anything and I always considered myself as a non-conventional photographer as I take pictures not by the book by based on what I see as beautiful. Wedding photography is considered an option and hopefully, something I can break into.

As of May 2008, I’m categorized as a portrait photographer and my style is more photojournalistic than anything else. To state the obvious: I am no wedding photographer.

News about Arn and his “art” reached a couple who wanted me to be a backup photographer on their wedding and I took the “job”. For my services, she offered me her desk lamp as payment which I willingly accepted. No, I don’t charge for my services as I’m in it for the experience and the fun (and weird payments like desk lamps).

Again, again so from squirrels to landscapes to small parties then to portraits, switching to weddings is a huge huge HUGE jump. Honestly, the job scared the heck out of me and I started worrying about so many things – do I have the right equipment? Which lenses do I use? Do I need to buy new stuff? What if something goes wrong?

The most alarming questions were: What pictures do I take at weddings? How do weddings work? What can I do and cannot do at the church? It was clear that I haven’t been to any weddings for a long time.

Before anything I had to prepare myself mentally and so I listed down the following notes to myself.

I am no wedding photographer.
A photographer at a wedding doesn’t make him/her a wedding photographer. Besides, I was doing backup which means I won’t take the same pictures the official photographers are taking. If I went out there thinking I’m someone else and attempt Lito Genilo or Dino Lara type shots, I end up with plain garbage. I’m not one. I’m not expected to be one. So why act like one? Simple right?

Learn and Enjoy.
There was no pressure. I talked to the couple and I told them I had 0 experience and so they were literally expecting nothing. If I shot nothing but pictures of rats swimming in a pond, well, ganun talaga. I’ll simply focus on observing what I see and enjoy the event.

Let Arn be Arn.
If I wasn’t the wedding photographer then what was my role? Simple. Let Arn be Arn. I’ll take my typical Arn shots the same way I took pictures at parties or while walking around Chicago. In other words: stick to what I know best.

Bottom line, Arn and the wedding photographer are two different people. Maybe some day these two will be the same person.

Just maybe.

For now though… wish me luck! :D

Toaster Defrost?

I was appliance shopping one time with Jaye when I saw this toaster with a defrost feature.



If you don't want to defrost, you can also just reheat it.

Honestly, I have no idea what these features are for. A toaster is one of the easiest appliances to figure out since it's designed to do one thing... hence called a "toaster".

When was the last time you had a loaf of frozen bread and wished you had a toaster to defrost it? When was the last time you were stuck with cold bread and wished you could reheat it?

Go figure.

Lang Kwenta Kausap

(my office phone rings...)

Tech Support: Arnold? Check ko lang kung ok na yung issue nyo sa laptop nyo.
Arn: May sira pa rin e.
Tech Support: Ah talaga? Sige daan na lang ako mamaya to check yung machine nyo. Ok lang ba around 5pm? May virus issue pa kasi ako.
Arn: Ahh sige, Ok lang. Get well dude.

The Manny Interviews

Ano daw?

The Monday Morning Drive

It was the usual Monday morning drive to Jaye's house on our way to the office in Makati. I called ahead and told her I was in Ortigas already but she told me she needed more time to prepare, like an hour or hour and a half.

Since I had the privilege of taking my sweet time driving along Ortigas and along EDSA, I had one of my worry free Monday morning drives ever. There was a jeepney driver who cut in front of me and I let him. He was followed by this van who I allowed to cut as well. There was another jeepney behind that van and guess what, I let him through too. Heck, I would have let the balut vendor in the corner cut in front of the way I was driving.

The intersection came and I didn't rush the yellow traffic lights. Along EDSA, I left every public utility just cut from both my left and right side and I just smiled while listening to another double meaning joke from Chico and Delamar. I exited the highway and parked in front of Jaye's place.

I was 45 minutes early.

It was the fastest I've been to the Makati when leaving the house at 7:30 in the morning.

Isn't it funny how sometimes you can go faster by going slower? =)

Conversations

Arn: “Miss, may voltage regulator kayo?”
Girl: “Meron po 500 watch”
Jaye: (whispers) “Wag mo na patulan hon!”
(I hope she meant Watts)
~
Arn: “Puedeng isang order ng mango? Yung ripe na yan diba?”
Waiter: “Ay hindi po.”
Arn: “Ah ganun? Ano meron kayo”
Waiter: “Yellow mango lang ho.”
~
Arn: (While shopping for a fluorescent light bulb) “Anong equivalent output nitong 11 watts?”
Guy: “Ah… 11 watts po.”
(Oo nga naman... Identity property: A = A)
~
Arn: “Kasama na ba yung bulb pag binili ko tong lamp na to?”
Guy: “Ay hindi po. Provide po siya”
Arn: “Provide?”
Guy: “Opo provide po.”
Arn: “Anong provide?”
Guy: “It means po ser kayo po bibili.”
Arn: “Ah… sige san yung mga provide nyong bulbs?”
Guy: “Andito po sa tabing aisle. Sa mga bulbs.”
~
*tutut* “Now attending… ACHOO!....... arn…”

Of Car Repairs and Sound Effects

I was driving home from work on night when my car’s engine started to sputter, like it had a bad case of the hiccups. I was at the Casa the next day with my sick car and I was talking to the guy at the desk. His name was Jay.

Jay: “Ser! Ano ho problema?”
Arn: “Makina e… may sira ata.”
Jay: “Naku! Ano ho yung tunog?”
Arn: “Vrooooom! Vroooom! Vroooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuouououououoouououououum!”
Jay: “E paano po kung di nyo nirebolusyon?”
Arn: “Ganito naman… oooooououououououououououououo”
Jay: “hmmmmm”
Arn: “Ano sa tingin mo yung problema? Sira yung sparkplugs?”
Jay: “Hindi e. Hindi ganyan ang tunog ng sirang sparkplugs.”
Arn: “oooooououououououououououououo!”
Jay: “Alam nyo ser. Air control valve ho yung sira pag ganyan. Buksan ho namin yung makina tapos tawagan kita”

2 hours later they called me up and told me that the air control valve was damaged and that my sparkplugs were ok. I gave them permission to order the part and have it installed ASAP.

I honestly have no idea what an air control valve is but when you can imitate a car engine including its sputters… that’s talent!

Shooting the Moon

I was doing my usual light jogging in our village when I suddenly stopped to check out the sky. The stars were out and the moon was just beautiful.

The poet in me wanted to just sit and stare and let the good thoughts flow in hoping that Jaye would be looking at the moon as well.

The photographer in me wanted to run home to set up the camera+tripod and take plenty of pictures. Since the jogger in me gave up and wanted me to just go home and have dinner that’s what I did.

I set up my tripod and camera just outside our house, updated my camera settings and fired away. For the next few hours I was just there taking shots and changing settings. Shoot, change, shoot, change, shoot, change. Every 5 minutes I had to change the setting of the tripod since the moon was moving faster than I thought and the higher the moon went, the brighter it became. Finally at around 1am I got the shot I wanted:

I love taking pictures of the moon. I guess when you think about it, everyone else is taking a picture of the same thing just from a different angle. Some will have better pictures. Some will have worse. As long as you worked hard for a certain picture to make it look exactly the way you wanted it to be, you wouldn’t trade that with anything else in the world.

Full moons make Arn sentimental. :D

The Pacquiao Fight Commentary

Finally I was able to catch a replay of the Marquez – Pacquiao fight last weekend. I was out with my family the first time it was aired and though we were able to watch bits and pieces of the fight, I wasn’t really able to observe (and I was more concentrated on finishing off the big plate of baked mussels I ordered). After watching the replay, for the sake of my friends who totally missed the fight, here’s my full analysis of the fight (and everything else):

Round 1 – With every Filipino expecting Marquez to fall down in the first round, Manny gets hit by a 1 – 2 punch square right into the jaw. Manny looked awful as he was hit hard in this round. Give it to Marquez for a 1-0 round lead.

Oh great, here comes the Manny ads. "Pag masakit ang massel at parang pinipilipit na tale, i-Alaxan mo lang!". Manny sure could use some right there.

Round 2 – Both Manny and Marquez landed solid blows and this round would have gone either way but in the final 10 seconds Manny gets hit by a three hit combination making him slightly losing his footing. Before he could counter the round ended and so the round clearly belonged to Marquez. Don’t you hate it when that happens? It's like meeting the perfect girl - pretty, smart, funny then you find out she likes girls too...

Funny thing about that CDO burger ad as they sing all the things you can do with a burger patty - burger steak, hawiian burger and adobo burger. They didn't even mention hamburger sandwiches. The test if you're truly pinoy? If you didn't get the joke and you found nothing wrong in this paragraph.

Round 3 – The commentators were obviously panicking after seeing Manny get pounded the first two pounds and get hit by combinations early in the 3rd round. Late in the round they both switch to Manny’s “away kalye” style and surprise surprise, Marquez gets hit and lands on his back. He gets up and he’s greeted by more punches. You should see his facial expression as he uses his face to block the punches.

I just love the way referee Ken Bayless counts. Hey, he just counts 1 to 10 but he puts emotions into it as if he’s shocked with his eyes wide open. Hey, if you see someone like that, wouldn’t you stand up right away?

End of the round and Marquez and Manny both walked towards the same corner. Does Marquez want to sit on Manny’s lap on the same stool? Happy round for Filipinos since the knockdown just put Manny back in the fight.

Round 4 – The commentators are now predicting that Manny will finish the fight in this round. For the 105th time they mentioned that Marquez is a counter puncher. Manny punches and he gets punched back. The round dragged on and there was nothing.

More and more and more ads... Filipino ads can be categorized into the following themes:

A) A pretty face tells you to use this product. They have lines but it doesn’t make any sense. Take that Samba Corned Beef ad for example. A pretty girl knocks on the door and tells the guys in the room the she brought her friends. They party and they eat corned beef. Look closely and in that party, everyone is holding a can of corned beef instead of beer. What will they use for shots? Knorr bouillon cubes?
B) A jingle or a song. Again it doesn’t have to make sense but it should be catchy. There must be dancing too with plenty of backup dancers. Remember old comedy movies where the ladies would get kidnapped, rescued then they would all dance in Luneta?
C) Attempted humor aimed for the early grade schoolers. They use puppets and ultra corny jokes.
D) The direct approach. “Use this”. Wala lang. Basta use it.
E) Utter nonsense ended by mentioning the product name. A couple couldn’t sleep and so the husband goes up to the roof to lie down. Suddenly it rains and his wife shows up with an umbrella and they kiss. “Boysen: shelters you well”. Ok where do I start?
a. If he was lying down and checking out the sky, wouldn’t he sense it will be raining soon?
b. It wasn’t the roof paint that sheltered you, it was the lady’s umbrella.
c. Rain doesn’t pour just like that.
d. When was the last time you woke up in the middle of the night and decided to sleep on the roof since it's more comfortable and relaxing there?

Round 5 – They say in this round, Manny switched to a “Counter the counter” technique. He punched Marquez but it was blocked. Marquez countered with a right hook to Manny's jaw. So he plans to counter the counter with… his teeth? Marquez gets this round and leads 3-2.

Hey whatever happened to Manny’s flame shorts?

Round 6 – Really? Ginebra San Miguel has been here since 1834? Manny starts up by just standing and blocking. The commentators explain that Manny doesn’t want to punch since Marquez will just counter it anyway. Marquez comes in and punches Manny on the left cheek. What a weird technique. That's like saying you don't need to take baths since you'll end up dirty again anyway. Marquez now leads 4-2 thanks to Manny’s wet paper towel defense.

Round 7 – Marquez gets hit by a head butt and starts to bleed. A few punches here and there but nothing really exciting. Marquez now leads 5-2.

My brother called me over and showed me Abalos’ hamburjer clip in youtube. Now THAT’s comedy.

Round 8 – Both fighters are bleeding. Marquez started by hitting Manny’s left eye until it was closed and with just one eye, Manny couldn’t defend himself. No surprise there, he was fighting as if both eyes were closed the past 4 rounds.

My brother came back from the kitchen with a bottle of “Cobra” energy drink. He says he saw it from an ad on TV. This guy drank it while shouting “COBRA!”. Funny how these ads work for Filipinos.

Ah they showed that Boysen “nagging wife” ad. Finally, a quality ad.

Round 9 – Marquez gets a HUGE cut on his right eyebrow. What did Manny do? Stuff his gloves with razor blades? There was still no defense from Manny but at least he inflicted enough damage to win this round. 6-3.

Round 10 – Pacquiao starts the round by charging him and raining him with punches just like what you see in basketball games in village leagues or in congress. It should be enough to give him this round 6-4.

Round 11 and 12 – Marquez looked tired in both rounds and so did Manny. Ok I'll be honest, I missed round 11 since I was busy looking for corned beef. There were no more techniques in the final round as it was now a drunken brawl. Punches were barely connecting and both fighters looked real silly. After hitting each other with counter punches all night, both would punch each other and immediately, both would cover their faces at the same time. The bell rang and automatically, you should act as if you won the fight. Manny tried to grab Marquez but Marquez ignored him. Manny just laughed.

The fight was over and Manny won split decision. Based on my scoring it should have been a tie but since Marquez was knocked down on the 3rd round, Manny gets an extra point and the win by an eyelash. Marquez claimed he was cheated (as always). When the fight was aired live, we were having a family lunch over at Dampa near Mall of Asia and when they announced Manny as the winner everyone just cheered and jumped. I even high fived this shirtless guy beside me who smelled like feet.

They showed more replays of Marquez falling down. Minutes later, everyone was quiet as they saw Manny suffering from a bad nosebleed. Was it from Marquez’s punches?

Nah.

They were interviewing Manny.

...in English.

Manny struggled through the questions and you can see the viewers feel the pressure and the pain of knowing perfectly what to say in Filipino but have no idea how to translate them directly in English. Poor Manny. Too much English gives you nosebleeds. Funny comment from the crowd during the interview: "KAYA MO YAN MANNY! YES KA LANG NG YES!"

Flight to Manila Random Thoughts

I flew back to Manila! It was a grueling weekend for me from packing my stuff until surprising my parents who had no idea I was flying home. While I could write the whole story how it went, I took the liberty of summarizing the interesting events:

- You can call it "luggage science" I guess. I had two luggages for check in with one weighing 70 pounds and the other at 75 pounds (the limit over at Northwest is 70). I moved some stuff from one luggage into the other and weighed them again - both now weighed 67 pounds. Go figure.

- My carry on gym bag weighed 45 pounds since it contained all my camera equipment, my Wii, my external drives, documents, wires, PSP, iPod and two big books. This gym bag was different from my laptop bag which contained my laptops, photo magazines, jacket, cap and laptop accessories. How did it feel? Well, both my arms were sore, my back hurt a lot and I was just past the Chicago customs on my way to the gates. I gave up and paid 3 dollars each in Chicago and Detroit for luggage carts. Good thing the carts in Nagoya and Manila were free.

- The most gruesome part of the flight is the Detroit to Nagoya. Good thing I had an aisle seat with no seatmate. Wow! My “babies” (my stuffed monkey, penguin and turtle) had their own seat. Sosyal!

- Chicken or Beef? Beef or Chicken? What's the point? They all taste the same.

- One thing I noticed, Filipinos traveling from the US to Manila always wear something that tells them where they came from in the US. There was this guy wearing a University of Hawaii shirt. One had a Bulls shirt. One had a Golden State Warriors shirt. Pinoy na pinoy.

- The first “taste” of the Philippines is really when you walk from the plane though the tunnel and into NAIA and when your skin suddenly becomes damp. The bag was too much to carry and since my wrist, my hand and my forearms were already sore, I lifted up my bag and carried it on my shoulders ala kargador.

- I was in line for immigration. The center booth were reserved for OFW’s. Some guy appeared and announced that “IF YOU HAVE A PHILIPPINE PASSPORT, YOU CAN FALL IN LINE IN THE CENTER BOOTH”. Of course this was followed by a stampede. Me, I stood still because of my uber heavy bag. Once the line was set, the guy followed “… IF YOU ARE AN OFW”. Hay… Manila.

- I waited for my bags in the carousel. When I finally saw one, I grabbed the handle but had no strength to reel it in. I was extremely tired, sleepy, hungry and thirsty. I had to let go and the guy on my right was laughing. After standing back up, my second luggage whizzed by and I just started at it. I’ll catch them on the next round.

- Next round, I grabbed a bag and tossed it to my right. It wasn’t mine but I had to get it out of the way. I grabbed my heavy bag and wrestled it to the ground as if it was an alligator. After I pinned my bag down I stood back up as fast as I can since I knew my second bag was next. I grabbed its wheels and dragged it to the floor as well hitting the guy beside me in the shins. A minute ago he was laughing and now he’s in pain. I'm such a jerk.

- While at the car and my brother driving, there was this truck filled with chickens being transported to somewhere in Pasig. Suddenly, one of the chickens was able to escape and fell off the truck, tumbling into C5. Really now, when do you think can you experience something like that in Chicago?

- Dad was asleep and I sat down on the bed. Using my mom’s voice (I can copy them both), I asked him where my brother was. He woke up, answered but was shocked that mom was too fat. He screamed like a girl (again).

- Mom was in the bathroom cleaning up and I came over and knocked. I told her I needed to use the bathroom (using my dad’s voice). She believed at first however something gave it away and she recognized me. She opened the door and hugged her long haired fat baby.

- I went to Jaye's place and pretended to be the landlord. She opened the door and had no idea what was going on. She saw me and stood there with a blank stare. She cleared her eyes then tried to look at me again but I hugger her til she turned purple.

- Everything was just the way I left it. Well almost. We don't have Solar Sports, ETC or Basketball TV anymore. :-/ There's also an entire station for crime stories called "FoxCrime" which airs CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: New York, CSI and ... more CSI. I wanted something less gorey and dramatic and all I found was this new channel called "Balls" which I was glad that it wasn't what I initially thought it was.

- Curious about how everyone reacted to my "new look"? I have an entire entry for that ;)

Chicago Short Stories

That’s got to be the gayest cement mixer truck I’ve ever seen. I won't be surprised if this was driven by two cowboys.

When you see something interesting, you know who to call. May, my Chinese friend from Chicago, IM’d me and told me Lake Michigan was frozen and that the ice was breaking up. She showed me a picture and it looked like the lake was full of floating broken glass. I went to the lake the next day and saw the melting ice but it wasn’t as dramatic as May’s pictures. Darn. Photography is about lighting, technique and a little bit of luck.

Déjà vu? Maika, my Filipino friend (who looks Chinese), called me and told me that the Chicago river was frozen. I grabbed my tripod and my camera and ran downstairs. While at the revolving doors, I ran into Norman and Byron and asked me what was going on. I told them “The river’s frozen! The river’s frozen!” as I blew past by them. Somehow they didn’t find it weird

You know what would be perfect? An “Arn” signal that works like the bat signal.

Nothing as simple yet as special as dinner with friends. It was Lei’s birthday and she treated us to Lawry’s Prime Rib restaurant. It was so good and the steaks were so tender. The place was also so posh and while our total bill cost an arm and a leg (actually, it costs 20 arms and 15 legs), Lei took care of the bill. Thanks Lei! I had fish and a bowl of peas for lunch the next day and my tummy was extremely disappointed after tasting lobster and prime rib the night before.

Lunch isn’t that bad as well. Mags and Jen asked me out for lunch over at Cheesecake Factory since they wanted a more personal farewell event. Awwww, so nice of them.

A “scouring pad” cake. Rache cooked me lunch while Lei baked me a sponge cake and it was her first stab at baking. The chicken with mangoes and cumin was good but the sponge cake was a bit tough and so I called it a scouring pad instead of a sponge cake. What a jerk… she goes through all the trouble of baking me a cake and I insult it…

What’s Going On? While taking pictures over at Millenium Park, a group of college students approached me with a video camera. They asked me to just say one line: “What’s going on?”. Immediately, I knew what this was for – they’re doing a music video like the one released back around 2000 where people would sing “What’s Going on?” from people of various gender, age, race, looks etc. That time I was carrying a camera bag and had my hair down and facial hair untouched for a week. I guess they needed a bum in the video.

A Pat on the Back. Work has been brutal and I’ve been working for eight straight months with no vacation. I worked through sprained ankles and various illnesses. The worst was when I collapsed and fainted in my apartment after work. I gained consciousness right away but I couldn’t move my legs. I remember reaching out my arms, grabbing my running shoe and using that as a pillow. Though I know how to pace myself in work, I always work until the wheels come off and unfortunately, a week before my assignment ended, the wheels came off… all the way off.

When you sit and stare outside the window and ask yourself what the hell I’m doing, you’re fine… you’re just stressed.

When you sit and stare outside the window and ask yourself who the hell you are… shut down the laptop dude, you need a break.

Look Before You Leap. Funny thing about this picture. While walking along Lake Michigan on my way to Target, I decided to setup the camera on a tripod and take a picture of myself here. With the camera set, I pressed the shutter release and the timer started. I ran towards the edge and jumped. While in mid air, I suddenly thought if this was actually pavement covered in snow or if it’s already the river – iced up and covered in snow. Because of this last minute thoughts, my form was wrong and I landed on my butt. The answer? It was pavement (whew!). I stood back up quickly and posed.

Sum up work in a picture.

My last "suppper" from my previous apartment: