The Dog Bite

I was sitting in the waiting area of the emergency room in the Medical City, I had a red tag on my left wrist and a big puncture hole on my right wrist. There was a kid running and playing in the hallway who glanced at my wrist then retreated to his mom's arms as if to say "Mama, pinako ba sa krus yung mamang mataba?"

Earlier that day, our chihuahua had her first litter of five. She was flat out tired - eyes barely open, panting heavily had a dazed look then for some reason, she snapped, bit and wounded three of her puppies. We all panicked and she was growling at everyone. I disabled her with a cardboard and snatched the puppies away so we can take them to the vet. After letting her go, she searched for her missing puppies then sat down in a corner. I came near her and patted her head to calm her down then suddenly she twisted around and bit my hand. What a crazy bitch! I had a chihuahua locked onto my hand and I feel the pain course through my bone. Youch! We quickly muzzed her up (like that crazy guy in Con Air) and went to the vet. Unfortunately, 2 died, 1 had a big slash on the forehead but the 2 are safe. Reminds me of that Chinese guy who hacked kids at school.



As for my hand, I waited until the evening to bring myself to the hospital. I opted to drive alone since my family already had a long day. In the emergency room, they gave me an assortment of shots - anti rabies, anti Tetanus, anti whatever. I guess it was a slow night and they had nothing better to do than use a fat guy as a pincushion. After preparing the meds, one nurse explained to me the cost of the procedure. Bottom line was the whole thing will cost me 35 thousand bucks and that already includes the deduction from my medical insurance coverage. The bite was ok, the wound was tolerable but 35 thousand bucks made my blood pressure rise. I sat down and tried to haggle and maybe just get the necessary shots. I mean, I wasn't exactly bitten by a rat, a bat or a stray dog. It was our house dog who even has her own airconditioned room (while my room had just a fan with a broken "rotate" knob). They gave me the whole lecture on WHO standards, about how my wound was a category 3 bite (the worst one) and that if I didn't get the shots and I had rabies, I would be dead. So basically pay us 35 thousand or die. Sounds like a stickup to me.

Apparently, the whole thing cost so much since the drug dosage was relative to weight. The heavier you are, the more vials are needed. Since I was hella fat, my bill was hella expensive. Jaye calmed me down over the phone and convinced me to take the shots. I was waiting in one of the ER cubicles when a nurse arrived with a big tray and like (gulp!) 10 injections! WTF! I saw three small ones and 2 big ones the size of steak knives...well not really, but they look menacing. I manned up and trusted my high tolerance for pain.

A couple of shots went to my arm which weren't bad. Then came 5 shots into my wrist, around the wound. As the nurse approached, I shouted "TEKA TEKA!". The wrist area is almost all skin and bone with ligaments right? I asked where exactly she would stab me. She gave me a fancy medical term (which I later found out meant "under the skin") and fired the first of five. It was excruciating. It was like gripping a pile of thumbtacks. It was like pouring Betadine on an open wound. It was like watching that Manny Villar jingle.

My right arm felt numb, I suddenly had to pee and my muscles was jerking from the pain. She took out the second needle and I suddenly walked away. I can't, at least not yet. The pain was too much. I called home and my mom and my brother were on the way to pick me up since I was in no condition to drive. The nurse just combined the 4 remaining shots and just stabbed it into my butt. I paid the bill (felt like a kick to the groin) and limped over to my brother's car. I can't recall what happened the rest of the night.

Over the next few days, my wrist was purple and swollen, my wallet is flat and I feel my arm numbing from time to time. I have three more sets of shots to take and whenever people ask what happened, the whole bitten by a chihuahua story does not contribute to a macho image.

Peter Parker got bitten by a radioactive spider and he became Spiderman. Edward Cullen got bitten by a vampire and became immortal. Arnold gets bitten by a Chihuahua and he receives 10 injections. Life is not fair.